Unhappy Campers

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This is how camp would have looked.  Only hopefully the women would be wearing pants.

Sadly, it looks like I will probably not be teaching the adult archaeology day camp thingy.  Apparently we priced it too steeply but can't really afford to cut things.  Sigh.

Also, it's like eleventy-billion degrees here.  With no AC except the crotchety-ass window unit in the bedroom.  And I'm afraid to go get in the lake because there's all kinds of foul shit (literally) in there and I am slightly immune-compromised.  Also, I'd have to walk through the heat and sun and junk.  I damn near passed out catching a bus earlier. 

I think I may take Oreo and go camp out in the bedroom with my Kindle and the AC.

Do Not Taunt Migraine Monkey

Good news:  The Botox and/or CoQ10 supplements have helped reduce my migraines in frequency and severity (at least this week).
Announcing this publicly seems to have angered the migraine monkey.  I got walloped yesterday and especially today.

Today's involved one of my least favorite aspects of the migraine aside from the pain - hyperirritability.  Even after all these years of being a migraneur, the sudden rush or wash or wave of hypersensitivity to sound and flush of near fury is disconcerting at best.
I think it's only been in the past few years that I've been able to associate this with migraine.  Before that, I would just suddenly be pissy and feel like picking a fight for absolutely no good reason.  Part of me even recognized that I had no real reason.  Figuring out it's associated with the migraines has at least helped, especially because it cues me in to taking abortive meds.

It's a truly bizarre thing though, to go from being fine one minute to the sound of traffic outside or the TV or someone eating or the neighbors upstairs walking across the floor suddenly becoming nearly unbearable sources of infuriating irritation.

Still Alive-ish

Image via WikipediaMy thyroid is being stupid again so we're fiddling with Synthroid doses.  I've also been having a dreadful time with migraines and trying to catch up after the 2-week span of evil pestilence cold.

Anyway, hopefully the new Synthroid dose will get me back in the sweet spot of not too high, not too low and maybe help the migraines.

I've finally decided to give CoQ10 supplements a trial too.  There is good, if preliminary evidence from limited trials for migraine prevention.  The supplements are a pricey, which has made me hesitate trying it, but I'm desperate.  So, 100mg 3 times a day for 3 months and we'll see if it helps. 

I've tried getting back to daily exercise after slacking off for most of the winter (because I couldn't bear to take my slippers and socks off to use the Wii in the cold) and managed to over do it Sunday and am paying for it today.  Because CFS needed to remind me it owns my ass, I guess.  Anyway, finding the right amount of exercise will help the migraines too.  My neuro did warn me that too much can be as bad as too little.  Fun. 

I've been trying to discipline myself to meditate a bit in the mornings too, but I have trouble taking the time.  It feels like "wasting time" even though it may help.

Better news though is that the blood pressure med we've tried for migraine prevention is at least helping with my heart rate - it's no longer sky high all the damn time.  So, um, yay. 

It's also gotten cold again but not quite cold enough for the boiler to be back on for the radiators.  My hands and feet are screaming with Raynaud's and even my lips were purple earlier today.  And Oreo and I have been fighting over the heating pad.

Hoping I'll feel up to actual posts again soon.

Seesaw

Image via WikipediaI feel as though I've been on one lately. 
My depression has reared it's ugly and unwelcome head again, which has left me weepy and distraught alternating with okay and fairly cheery the past few days.  Bleh.
And the past month has been a weird span of increased fatigue and apathy and migraines interspersed with some okay and even good moments.  Bleh, again.  And all that has meant I've been less consistent with exercise, which has all of me creakier and more painful which doesn't help matters.

The freezing cold also doesn't help.  It's a major act of willpower to take my socks and slippers off to do yoga with the Wii Fit.  Brrrrrrrr.  Add in trying to do anything too motion-intensive or that involves inverting my head when I have a migraine and blech.  Although I guess my feet would be warmer if I barfed on them.

I'm also having a bit of trouble communicating with my therapist, which is something I hope to resolve at our next appointment, first via discussion or, if necessary, requesting to see someone else.  I'm nervous about asserting myself in this context, but resolved to do it anyway.  Failing to address the issue isn't going to do anyone any favors. 
Wish me luck. 

In better news, my new reading glasses seem to be helping immensely with some of my neck pain now that I'm no longer straining forward to read.  There's still some soreness, I think from my neck and shoulders readjusting to a better position, but it's not nearly as awful and I haven't had as much neck pain with my migraines. 

I also got a new chair today to use for crafting.  I'm hoping a comfortable, supportive chair will make it easier and therefore more likely for me to go play with polymer clay and my sewing machine. 

And I bought a book holder so it's easier for me to read when my arthritis flares up in my hands.

I am sincerely hoping a recent med change will kick in soon regarding the depression and the migraines.  I hate this crap, especially feeling worthless and awful and like some sissy drama queen and then feeling awful for feeling like that, and... 
I'm still not entirely convinced drilling a hole in my head wouldn't help.   Or a knitting needle up the nose?

Hashimoto keeps getting me down

Image via WikipediaI had a routine Rheumatology follow-up two weeks ago and they did their standard labs to see what's going on with me in terms of autoimmune suck.
Looks like the Plaquenil has done okay in bringing down some inflammatory markers, but apparently my thyroid is being a bitch again.  Or my immune system is being a bitch to my thyroid.  Yay, Hashimoto's thyroiditis
So, my TSH is high and my thyroid peroxidase is also high which means we probably need to up my dose of replacement thyroid hormone so my body will quit being all "ahhh! give me hormones!" and my immune system will quit being all "omnomnom tasty thyroid hormone."
I went in for more labs Friday and should get results this week along with some idea of how much we need to up my Synthroid.
I have to wonder how long this has been going on.  I have been more tired the past few weeks/month and this week has been awful - I had to call in to work last night because there was just no way I had the energy to go.  My job involves sitting there and occasionally interacting with people.  I was too freakin' tired to do that!
Well and I had a migraine.  But most of yesterday involved sleeping, waking up a bit and trying to read, falling back asleep, getting up for food or medicine and winding up winded just from the effort of moving.  Not cool.
Anyway, I'm wondering if stuff I attributed to allergies, migraines, and the weather were in part signs that I was getting hypothyroid again.  We'll see if daily sore throat, multiple migraines a week, random rashes, and extra exhaustion and brain fog go away with more Synthroid so maybe the next time this happens I'll be more likely to notice it.
I managed to get up the energy to shower today and I've been crocheting and watching movies.  I'm supposed to work tomorrow night and by Flying Spaghetti Monster I will make that freakin' shift!

Buhhhhh

Image via WikipediaSo even after 6 weeks on nortriptyline my migraines don't seem to be improving.  I've had 4 this week and no less than 2 each week since I started the nortriptyline.  Some of them I've been able to cope with.  Others have been really awful.
This has led to me slacking off on doing Wii and my PT exercises at home.  Not good.  Working on that.

I did, however, discover that if I really feel like I shouldn't do the Wii (as opposed to just being a bit lazy) I probably shouldn't do the Wii.  I had a migraine Friday but though "oh, well, if I just do some of the standing yoga poses so I'm not moving too much or lowering my head (that makes stuff hurt worse) it'll be fine and maybe I won't feel so stiff and sore."  I did the Warrior pose, the Palm Tree, and the Chair.  Half-way through the Warrior pose I started to sweat and shake, with the Palm Tree is was practically vibrating and started getting nauseous, and the Chair I nearly fell over and actually soaked through my shirt with sweat in a few places.  This was a 6 minute long workout.  I usually do 15 minutes and don't break a sweat even if it's a bit warm.  So,  yeah.



My involuntary movements have made a come-back as well, usually on the same day as a migraine.  Fun times.  I've been really, really stiff lately too - mostly muscles rather than joints from right after I get out of bed.  Yoga with the Wii helps a bit, so does a warm shower, but if I stay in the same spot too long, my back stiffens up.
My shoulders and neck are permanently tense again which is part of the migraine feedback loop.  And my sciatica or whatever the hell it is that makes it feel like someone is pinching my ass from the inside or sending laser beams from my ass down to my heel is flaring  up.

Anyway, I have a neuro appointment this coming Friday.  We'll see what else we can do with the migraines, I plan to ask about a specialist.  I've done some reading about vertiginous migraine which is sort of interesting and might help explain some of my balance problems.  Or not.  Whatever. I just want to stop having the damn things so often.  I feel like crap when I have them and can't get much of anything done, then I have the hangover, which sometimes lasts a whole day or more and then it seems like by the time I've recovered from one, another one shows up.  If I get too active too soon it can trigger another one (like last week when I had to hobble-run for a bus that didn't follow the proper route, missed it, and then had to haul ass for 2 blocks to make it to an appointment without being late; within an hour I had an aura coming on and within an hour of the aura the pain hit.)

I've also started having the occasional one on my left side.  In the past they were always on the right and even now are usually on the right.  So, maybe a specialist, maybe we'll up the dose of nortriptyline or try something else.  I might also see if it's worthwhile to have another sleep study to see if my apnea has gotten worse and is maybe contributing. 


The image is of cortical spreading depression, which is one of the models for explaining visual aura in migraines.

Trepanation

Image via WikipediaI think I understand why people used to use it as a solution for migraine.  I'm finding the idea rather appealing myself, right now.
For unknown reasons, my migraine frequency and severity has shot up this summer.  After flipping through my calendar I realized I've had a migraine every day this week and over the weekend.  A few of them have been ones that lasted more than a day.  Others hit later in the day or afternoon after several hours of blissful normality.

This is not cool.  Worse, I'm not getting good response to my usual abortive med - Excedrin.  This is a bit complicated by the fact that I've had more arthritis pain lately for which I usually take naproxen which hangs around in the body for 8-12 hours during which you're not supposed to take another NSAID.  Suck.
I've been using an ice pack.  I've been using my Neti Pot.  I've been lying down, doing gentle stretches, trying to relax.  I've been trying to have pain-med free days so as not to trigger rebound headaches or medication overuse headaches.
I'm in the second month of trying butterbur extract as a preventative (obviously with no result).  Unfortunately, the very hot, humid summer we're having along with lots of allergens are probably what's causing the problem and those aren't exactly triggers I can avoid without moving (which would be fine except for that whole we need jobs and a place to live thing).





This is bad enough as it is, but is now a really major problem as I've gotten a part-time job that starts next week.  (Yay!)  I can't really get to, let alone do said job at times when drilling a hole in my head to let the pain/demons/cerebrospinal fluid out seems like a good idea.

Nor does this ancient Egyptian remedy of tying a clay crocodile stuffed with herbs to my head seem all that appealing.  Well, actually pressure plus heat or cold does help sometimes, but I suspect if there isn't already something in the dress code about that there would be after I showed up with one.  (Though having rules made/added as a direct result of my actions is usually entertaining.)

In the past, I was on nortriptyline, one of the tricyclic antidepressants, for depression and discovered happily that it also prevented migraines.  Unfortunately I also gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time and had some weird blood pressure issues and a few other less worrisome but mildly annoying side effects, so I switched to Cymbalta.  So today I emailed my neuro and begged for help, suggesting maybe a low dose of the nortriptyline would help prevent migraine and not interact overmuch with the Cymbalta or be as likely to cause side effects.  She got back to me and agreed to phone in an Rx.   I'll check with my psychiatrist tomorrow to be sure they have no objection and hopefully my clever plan will succeed.  It may take 1-3 weeks to really notice a difference, but that's fine.  Hopefully the combo won't tip me into serotonin syndrome or cause any other nasty problems.  At this point, the risk is worth it, especially since I know what to look for.

Failing that, I may well try to start a fashion for clay crocodiles as hipster head-wear.

Either way - job!  Should be fairly low-stress, no one I met during my interviews seemed sociopathic, the job is done when I leave and I'll be bringing in some money to help pay down some debt and other stuff.  I can do other stuff like knit while I'm there so long as it doesn't distract me too much (so, stockinette in the round) and I'm hoping I'll still have the energy to keep slowly plugging away at getting some crafts ready for sale.

Twitch

Image via Wikipedia

I woke up today with full-body tremors and Elvis-Pelvis has returned.  I've been bowing or having my lower back arch forward on and off the past hour.
Fun times.
I don't know if I over-did it yesterday or if something else is going on or what.  Joys of Functional Movement Disorder - no one can tell you why you have it, why you have symptoms, when you'll have symptoms, or really what to do about it.

Now to decide whether to deal, drink some valerian tea, or take a Klonopin.  The later two options are likely to lead to varying degrees of space-cadet-ness.  Doing nothing will just make me sore and grouchy.

On top of this, my right elbow is a mess of itchy rash and I have eczema on my palms.  Awesome.

Granny Square

I agreed to contribute a square to a sympathy afghan for a friend of a friend who had a sudden health crisis in the last few months. Finally got around to actually making the square today.

I used a pattern from SmoothFox - a Celtic Granny Square and worked it up in some Pine Simply Soft Eco. It went much faster than expected andI think it turned out lovely. The free pattern includes instructions for single or multiple colors, so I may works with this a bit more in future.

Plus I got to use one of my polymer clay handled crochet hooks.

I did most of it sitting on my zafu while watching the first episode of Elizabeth R. My back is less than pleased about this. I've now retreated to the couch and my "boyfriend pillow" and heating pad.

Not terribly much else going on lately. I had one of my very bad migraines starting Thursday night with the major pain lasting through Friday and residual suckage through today.  The concurrent thunderstorms aren't helping.
I've also been a bit depressed, but I suspect the migraine had a role in that.

Hoping to get going on some other projects this week.  I'd like to try designing my own amigurumi for sale as finished objects and/or as patterns, but keep feeling inadequate to the actual task and so keep doing loads of "research" into pattern templates, etc., etc., without actually doing anything.
The same with polymer clay stuff.  Must actually do instead of just thinking.
There's also sewing to be done.  I'm finding long-ish skirts more and more comfortable lately for a variety of reasons and would like to make some out of cotton in some good neutral colors.  I've got fabric and pattern for jammies waiting.  And I've still got an excessive amount of buckwheat hulls and a ton of fabric a lovely friend from Ravelry sent to me waiting to be made into pillows and hot/cold packs.

I also need to quit daydreaming about the homestead.  It'll happen when it happens.  Chickens!  Vegetables!  Goats!  Bunnehs!  Horsies!

Jinx

I had another MRI today.  I think this is my 4th time.  Head and cervical spine with and without contrast this time.

In the past, I've been all braggy-pants about getting through them quickly because I hold still fairly well.  Clearly, I have jinxed myself because today I was twitchy as hell.  We had to repeat several passes because my neck kept jerking.  This was INCREDIBLY annoying.  I'm used to compensating for my involuntary movements.  I have a variety of strategies to do so including:

• Swearing
• Tensing the muscles in question, which works for a brief period but often results in more movement when I finally relax or sometimes sort of shifts the movement elsewhere.  This works best with my hands for short periods of time for fine work and sometimes with my trunk when I'm having major issues through my trunk and pelvis.  Key term here is "short periods."
• Swearing some more.
• Relaxing.
• Holding my breath, which is okay for things like blood draws on super-twitchy days, but isn't exactly a useful strategy for more than about a minute.
• Moving with the movement.  Obviously not good for holding still, but does sometime help with discomfort.
• Swearing yet more.
• Distracting myself.  I'm not entirely sure whether this actually reduces the movements or if I just stop paying attention to them.  I tried this in the MRI and I'm not sure it helped.

Anyway, my neck and shoulders still ache like hell from lying on my back with no head/neck support for 2 hours along with alternately tensing and relaxing trying to keep still.  Grrr.  I'll ask next time I have one ordered if it's worth getting the sedative/anti-anxiety med they offer to claustrophobics to see if that will cut the muscle twitches/tremor.

I had noticed an increase in tremors lately in my head and neck - sort of nodding or shaking, but very slight but hadn't realized quite how pronounced it could be until I had to try to hold still.  My legs and lower back were going too, but that wasn't as noticeable or as big a deal.  

I had them put the IV in while I was lying down today.  This time the nurse just came into the MRI suite to do it and was very nice about it.  As she noted, she'd much rather walk down the hallway to put it in than have me pass out in her chair in the prep room.  I didn't feel anything with the contrast injection this time, which is a first - I usually feel either a warm flush or a cool rush.  

Still waiting to hear back from the insurance company about seeing the fancy-pants guy at Rush.  (I should maybe stop calling him "the fancy-pants guy" but whatever.)  Giving them until early next week before I start nagging.

Special

Had my neurology follow-up today. There was no further discussion of the somatoform issue, which was nice, I guess.
She's utterly baffled, so she's sending me to someone outside the university system who a lot of experience with movement disorders.  At least she believes me now.  Tomorrow (if I feel up to it) I get to call my insurance company and see if they'll cover the cost of going to someone outside the university medical center.  Then I get to see if I can get an appointment with this dude in sooner than 6 months.  And then I have to figure out how to get my medical records sent to him.  Failing that, there may be some creative attempts to get a consult from this guy, like taking a video of my symptoms:

You should totally choose me for Your Next Neuro Patient because I'm cute and snarky and I have a doggie and, like, such as...

We're also repeating my MRI - brain and cervical with and without contrast.  That's next week.

As it is, my intestines are mounting a counterattack on the rest of me so I've been fairly unhappy since yesterday.  The rest of today is likely to consist of trying to keep some chicken soup in my body and going back to bed.

Thanksgiving hang-over

So, the turkey Tom wound up making (because I slept all day) was fantabulous.  So was everything that went with it.
Oreo got his little share of turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberry jelly.  No gravy for him this year because it had garlic and shallots.  I wasn't sure about the stuffing so none of that either.  He seemed very pleased nonetheless.

I'm trying to reset my sleep schedule again.  Despite getting up at 9:30 AM on Wednesday, I couldn't sleep for more than an hour or two without being wide awake again until 5 AM Thursday.  Sigh.  If this doesn't settle by Tuesday, I may have to reschedule cognitive testing yet again, as I'm pretty sure the results will be skewed a bit if I'm about to pass out or throw up from sleep deprivation.  "Regular" tired = fine for testing.  Sleep deprivation = not so fine.  Trying really hard to stave off that "dementia" diagnosis as long as possible.  Or at least until we have several more small dogs and I acquire a wardrobe of muumuus so I can be the crazy dog lady.

After dinner last night we watched The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, which is one of my favorites and I played with polymer clay.  Tonight I think there may be some Doctor Who watching and knitting on my baby nephew's Xmas present.

My dislike of the acetazolamide is increasing.  I've mostly gotten used to the excessive peeing and the resultant need to consume large quantities of water.  Unfortunately, the headaches that come within a few hours are not so fun and don't seem to be going away as my body gets used to the med.  Neither is the intestinal disturbance.  And I don't think it's helping much on the involuntary movement front - at least not enough to make it worth it as far as I'm concerned.  Definitely not helping enough for me to up the dose to twice daily.
On top of that, I can't take my preferred headache/significant joint pain remedy, Excedrin (or the generic equivalent) because it has asprin (a salicylate) in it, which is contraindicated.
I also can't take Pepto for my stomach because it has salicylate because ALL salicylates are contraindicated.    This blows goats.  I'm trying acetaminophen (Tylenol) at the moment because ibuprofen will irritate my stomach and intestines even more.  It's working a bit better than it used to, but not nearly as well as it would mixed with caffeine and asprin.  Dammit.
So, my head hurts, I have to pee a lot, and poot a lot, and poop a lot, and the rest of me hurts too, BUT I have polymer clay, yarn, movies, and books, plus Tom and Oreo to keep me company, so I guess I'll survive and even be fairly happy.  Grumbly, but happy.

And today in "holy crap, you're stupid!"

Interracial couple denied marriage license in La. - Yahoo! News

I think I may have damaged my forehead smacking it in exasperation.

The truly classic quote from the article:

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

1. Dude, you're a racist. Resorting to the "I have tons of insert race/ethnicity/other status here friends" argument usually means you are.

2. Even if you did to begin with, I don't think you have "piles and piles of black friends" anymore.

3. Extra bonus points for "I let them use my bathroom" and "I don't believe in mixing the races that way"

4. Does he always refuse to marry people if he thinks the marriage won't last long?

Dear Mr. Bardwell,
You are a racist. You may not be willing to admit it, but you are. You're also an idiot.

Sincerely,
Most adults with a semi-functional brain

Shopping and Pain

So, Friday I went out shopping with some friends on a quest for jeans for one of them.  Fairly uneventful except that I got motion sick in the car, which hasn't happened to me in several months.  Joy.  At least I didn't barf.

Saturday, Tom and I decided to check out a Goodwill store just to see what we could find.  This would have been more enjoyable if I hadn't suddenly started having double-over, OMG-WTF-there's-an-incubus-in-my-abdomen cramps.  I toughed it out.  Didn't find much besides a fairly decent haul of sci-fi/fantasy paperbacks and a cardigan for Tom.  No luck in the velour sweatsuits (I like the nicer ones with the hoody and pants because they're comfy but I feel comfortable venturing forth in public in them) or in corduroy jumpers or dresses that aren't disgustingly cutesy or matronly.

Saturday evening the worst migraine I've had in a very long time hit.  I suspect the motion sickness on Friday was part of the "aura." prodrome.  Anyway, it started off like one of my typical migraines that I get every 10 days or so - sucktastic, but I can take some Excedrine, find a quiet spot and read or sleep and deal.  Then it decided to get extra evil on me.  Yeah...I thought someone was driving an ice-pick through my skull.  My eyes kept slipping out of focus.  I started sweating.  And I started getting nauseous.  Anyway, I managed to get to sleep.  And woke up Sunday with the migraine still there.  And the nausea was worse.  And I was having hot and cold flashes and sweating.  And feeling rather...giddy.

I finally got rid of it (mostly) very late Sunday night, possibly early Monday morning.  I hate these.  The pain sucks, but that isn't what bothers me the most.  It's the nausea and hot/cold flashes and skin being over sensitive and giddiness or lightheadedness or anxiety or whatever the hell it is that I really, really hate.  It makes me feel slightly panicky and slightly like I'm not quite in control.  It's dreadful.  It isn't precisely a panic attack, but it is sort of similar, though it lasts a while.  And it puts me in mind of some of my worst moments mentally and emotionally, which probably doesn't help matters.  Anyway, talking about it/through it seems to help, thus this post.  Having Oreo decide to shove my laptop off my lap and occupy it himself also helps, as I discovered last night.

Anyway, I'm still feeling a bit fragile - the migraine hangover, I call it.    Hopefully another day of rest will help.

Apartment hunting continues

The search continues. We're supposed to see the inside of a place we have very high hopes for on Saturday. It is outside the city. The more we think about it, the more we like the idea of getting out of the neighborhood and also potentially out of the city. Since I'm not in coursework anymore and am not terribly likely to continue with my dissertation there's not a deep need to stay in the neighborhood on my part. The only thing I currently have to do in the neighborhood is all medical. It would be nice for Tom to stay in the neighborhood as at the moment his commute consists of walking a few blocks.

Unfortunately, finding an apartment in the neighborhood that accepts dogs, is somewhat larger than a refrigerator box, is not on the upper floors of a walk-up, and is not in the freakin' ghetto for less than $900/month is really, really difficult. Yes, I know it's the city. I know housing is at a premium. I still think it's ridiculously expensive. And what the hell is with taking cats and not small dogs? Is it the noise potential? Because in my experience cats can be a hell of a lot more destructive than dogs and, if their owners don't clean up after them, have the potential to leave a lingering stench.

We've also considered the Bridgeport neighborhood, but the presence of the White Sox has me a bit worried - noise, traffic, NOISE (every home run gets a fireworks barrage that we can hear in our current apartment), stupid drunks, etc.

Anyway, strain plus heat yesterday is still making my delayed sleep phase disorder waaaay worse. And I'm extra shaky and twitchy with a side of Elvis-pelvis. And having random numbness again - the usual last two fingers of the right hand plus the tip and bottom of the first section of my right big toe - figure that one out. It seems like every time I start to get used to how I feel and start to wonder if maybe I can "push" a bit more I run into something a bit more stressful and discover that I still have virtually no reserves and cannot cope well with even minor, stupid strains. And it manifests physically. Poo.

Anyway - the more I think of it, the more I think that despite potential commute hassles, living outside the city, especially some place with a yard-type thing, near a nice little lake, that is several hundred dollars less than what we're paying now would be WONDERFUL! We can pay down our debts a bit more and stash a bit more in savings while I attempt to find work I can actually do and/or acquire disability. Oreo and I might have a yard to putter around in and/or a nice porch to hang out on. We might get to know more people (in person) who aren't academics (not that I don't love our academic friends, but it's always good to expand). There are a bunch of sweet little shops and stuff within walking distance (even for me, on a good day) that might make it easier for me to get out and about a bit.

Yay, shopping!

I spent a very restless night last night - I was exhausted but had a terrible time getting to sleep and then, unusually for me, trouble staying asleep. Bleh.

Apartment hunting is making me anxious, so that's probably the trouble. We have a lot of leads now, many of them outside our current neighborhood. That will involve figuring out how much more or less expensive things will be as hubby will have to commute daily and I will need to do so regularly for medical appointments. Many of the places we're looking at are rehabs too, which are beautiful, but usually don't have boilers and radiators which could mean a huge jump in electricity expenses. So, we have to offset those sorts of costs with less expensive rents. :P

Anyway, we went out shopping with a friend today in the suburbs. I've been wanting to hit Michael's Arts and Crafts this week because they had a sale on cotton yarn. I scored 8 skeins. And a skein of purple bamboo yarn (sooooo silky) that I think will be my very first cane cozy. I also found a lovely set of very small alphabet rubber stamps that will be wonderful for "signing" my prints.

And I found some wonderful hiking sandals from Land's End at Sears on sale for $30. My older hiking sandals are nice, but have seen a season in Sudan, a dunking in Lake Michigan, several rain storms, and lots of other miscellaneous wear. They're thus a bit battered. My new ones are super comfy (I wore them the rest of the day) and much better suited to wet conditions. Now I just hope we can fit in a kayaking or canoe trip this summer.

Off to bed now - I think full apartment hunting including call-backs and possible visits commences tomorrow. Or maybe Monday. Sigh. I'll be in the corner, petting my yarn.

Ow, ow, ow

Very bad night last night for pain - bad enough I couldn't sleep. I tried watching SeaQuest, but the episode of season 2 I chose was almost as painful as most of my body. I finally got to sleep around 6 AM, (having been tired enough to go to bed at 12) but had to get up to go look at some more apartments and go to a medical appointment.

First apartment was very pretty but waaaaay too small. Second apartment was really nice, but too expensive and also in a slightly sketchy part of the neighborhood. Apparently very sketchy, actually, as someone got beaten and stabbed in front of there recently. (I have an alibi.) While we might be able to negotiate lower rent, stabbiness is something I prefer to retain a monopoly on within my local block. Also, despite being first floor, there are several stairs up and down. Plus, one of the women we met there today reminded me of a super scary woman I know/knew professionally - very faux British "oh dahhhling" without a trace of irony, gin-soaked sort of woman. Surprisingly, she was not the one who was beaten and stabbed. So, I think we're leaning heavily back toward the garden apartment.

After all this and my appointment, I decided like a dumbass to walk several blocks to go visiting today. While I did get a milkshake out of the deal, I had to stop and rest on the way home and am in pretty severe pain again. I can feel the individual bones in my feet and every one of them hurts. My bra felt like it had teeth. My hips aren't rotating so much as clunking. My fingers feel like my feet do. Forearms and shoulders are not much happier. I think I may have to ask for something a bit stronger than ibuprofen for days like today...

Or, I could wander across the street. I'm pretty sure the dealers in the park have heroin and I suspect it'll be easier to obtain than, say, pseudoephedrine. :P Unfortunately, I suspect my appearance also simply screams "NARC!!!!" Sigh. And I hate needles. Double sigh.

I suck!

I failed in my goal of posting something everyday!  Oh well, everyone needs a day off now and then, right?  Yesterday we went on a nature walk after I made the oh so mature demand of my husband:  "I want to see bunnies and duckies!!!!"  Oreo didn't get to come because the park district is speciesist.  It was pretty fun - we got to get ridiculously close to some cottontails and watch them for some time.  Same with a pair of mallards.  And there were trees and flowers and the weather wasn't too warm or too cold.  Yay!  I had a brief, weird moment where the toes on my left foot felt like they were burning for no apparent reason.  Only lasted a few minutes.  Didn't bother me too much, but I wish my peripheral neuropathy or whatever the hell that was had done that in the depths of winter - then my toes might have been warm.

I also got to use my Borders coupon and scored Getting Started Knitting Socks by Ann Budd.  Tom unkindly pointed out that it wasn't going to do me much good as I don't so much know how to knit yet, but I stuck my tongue out at him and called him names, so it's all good.

All of the above totally wore me out, so I vegged out on the couch most of the rest of the night, save for a brief interval wherein we bathed Oreo.  He's only just now forgiven me.  And we changed the bed and fluffed up the down mattress pad and comforter, which made getting into the bed way more blissful than usual.  I woke up today with some major weakness in my left hand, but I'm managing to type without too much trouble.

Suckitude aka Having to Move

So we're going to have to leave our apartment by the end of August.  Our building and a bunch of neighboring buildings are going to be torn down (eventually) to make room for hospital expansion.  Or possibly for an Olympic village.  Either way, this sucks.  So, we've got to try to find a new place that is affordable and, hopefully, easier for me to get in and out of.   I wouldn't be worried except we'll be competing for said places with all of our neighbors.   I love our place now, except that I have to deal with a flight of stairs to get in or out.  Aside from hating to move even when I am functional, I'm a bit concerned over location.  Right now I'm within a fairly easy walk to the hospital, which means that I can make it to my regular appointments by myself with little trouble.  Moving may mean that hubby and/or friends will have to take time off to drive me to appointments or put me in a wheelbarrow and push me.  Weekly.  Ick.