Bedtime

I use 7Notes to convert handwritten notes on my iPad to text for later use in lectures or whatever. It's usually quite good, but every now and then it generates hilarity. I've taken this most recent example as a sign it's time go to bed.
I promise I didn't teach it that word

Today's news

Went with my parents to see he oncologist this morning. The good news is that the main tumor has shrunk to near invisibility with chemo. It is not gone, it will grow back, and it will become resistant over time. The next step really needs to be radiation, but Dad has not been able to handle the procedure involved in the past. Hoping we can get in to talk to the doctor who handles that to see I'd there are some creative adjustments that could be made.


He's lost some hair, but he looks and sounds good.

I'm exhausted. Will be resting the next few days.

Oh the places you'll go

Wow have I slacked off. Ahem.
I'm writing this on the second leg of a flight out to Las Vegas. My dad has cancer. Stage 4. I am now in this weird place of child/adult trying to puzzle out what to do, how to push, etc.
We've known for a bit, but this is the first I'll see him since the diagnosis and treatment.

I am afraid to get off the plane. That will make it all real.

Seriously, people, any mojo you can send to help me keep it together with some kind of grace for all of us will be deeply appreciated.

My half brother and his wife have been trying to help out, but my parents are weird and insular and stubborn. I'm sure those of you who know me will find that shocking. My brother and sister in law are wonderful, though and I'm so glad they live in Vegas close to our parents.

Tom will be joining us this weekend. Oreo and Bunny will stay with his parents. I'll be very glad to see him. Hauling the doggies out with us was just...no. O,o I think Dad would like Bunny. She's quiet and very snuggly. Then again he says she has a stripper name.

On a lighter note, I have (assuming I pass training) a job as an online adjunct. Trying to keep names out of it for a variety if reasons. But training has been great, the school is very supportive and friendly. Also, as it's online, it's a very portable job. And will possibly be less strain on me than in person courses, especially those I have to develop entirely on my own. I'm still planning on teaching in person, but it seems like the online gig will be more regular.
Part of training involves doing a live chat with PowerPoint. The title of this post comes from the title of a slide showing a squat toilet.

Oreo's Little Sister

We've been contemplating getting another dog for some time. We even had a trial run a few years ago that didn't work out (that dog did find a wonderful match with another family).
I had to have stitches taken out today (may blog about that some other time) and thought I'd get a haircut, but the salon didn't have an opening for a walk in. I wandered over to a shopping center with a Petsmart.
The local Humane Society has adoption events every weekend there so I went to have a look.

There was a sweet little girl terrier mix I really liked so after consultation with Tom, I went home to get Oreo and bring him back to see how they would do.

When we got back, another of the potential adoptees named Bunny was being walked. She had been shivering and hiding far back in her cage all day so I hadn't had a chance to really see her. Oreo trotted right over, sniffed her, and was totally cool.

Oreo is a total punk-ass with other dogs. I haven't socialized him with other dogs as well as I should have, he has a Napoleon complex, and I think his own time in the pound contributed to some dog aggression.

Anyway, we tried an introduction with the first dog I had been looking at. Oreo turned into a slavering hell-beast. She responded in kind. There was really no chilling them out.

I figured "what the hell?" and asked the volunteer if she would bring Bunny back out to see how she'd do with Oreo in a more direct setting.

Meanwhile, I sat on the sidewalk outside the store right next to the "Adoptions Today" sign. With Oreo. Lots of people wanted him. And he was being his little super-cute I love all the peoples self. I had to explain that he was not, in fact, up for adoption.

He and Bunny did really well again - no barking or growling. He didn't care if I pet her or held her. o.O

So, we have a new family member. She's about a year old. She's a Dachshund mix of some kind. She was surrendered because her family couldn't afford her. And she has heartworm. But, the Human Society will help pay for the medication to treat her and we can afford the rest.

Oreo had been a shivering, timid little dude when I adopted him, so I have a soft spot for timid doggies.

They were marvelous on the drive home. Marvelous coming inside. Shared the couch with us and each other. Bunny had her head half in my lap and half on Oreo's booty for a while.

Hopefully the good behavior continues and she integrates well. We're pretty hopeful things will go well.

Here is the face of "oh please, I haz a scared"

Not Dead Yet

I have a nifty new iPad to play with. Here's an example of some handwriting to text I've been toying with. The translation is sort of hilariously weird with some of my scrawling but still pretty cool.

I've gone quiet fiwoggingnfhen Mets, busy. But, a New Year is upon us. I have. a shiny new iPad Mini. I'm hoping t will streamline some of my writing. I seem to do better writing by hand than typing. I've been filling stew pads, but am hgsnng to use my iPad and wind up with min text from my scrawling.

Thanksgiving Tradition

I have to post this every Thanksgiving. Because reasons.

Spells of Vital Importance

For some damn reason, the quotes are blanking for people. I have attempted to remedy that.

Mucking about with the Greek Magical Papyri a bit. I don't have the lovely book
Hans Dieter Betz (ed.), The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation Including the Demotic Spells, Chicago:  The University of Chicago Press, 1986, but various excerpts are available around on the web.
In particular:
An ancient version of Viagra

xxxiii. To Get an Erection When You Want Grind up a Pepper with some Honey and coat your Thing. [PGM VII.186]

Something I desperately needed at conferences and receptions

xxxi. To be Able to Drink a Lot and Not Get Drunk Eat a baked Pig's Lung. [PGM VII.181]

Cure for Social Anxiety (presumably, you're too busy worrying about the crap on your face?)

xxx. To Let Those Who Have Difficulty Intermingling

[i.e. Socializing] Perform Well Give Gum mixed with Wine and Honey to be smeared on the Face. [PGM VII.179-80]

For migraine (totally trying this one)

xix. Spell for Migraine Headache
Take Oil in your Hands and utter the Spell: "Zeus sowed a Grape Seed: it parts the Soil; He does not sow it; it does not sprout." [PGM VII.199-201]

A Contraceptive. I assume the operative principle is that you are so busy collecting everything and mixing it that you have no time for sex.

xxi. A Contraceptive, the Only One in the World
Take as many Bittervetch Seeds as you want for the Number of Years you wish to remain Sterile. Steep them in the Menses of a Menstruating Woman. Let them steep in her own Genitals. And take a Frog that is alive and throw the Bittervetch Seeds into its Mouth so that the Frog swallows them, and release the Frog alive at the place where you captured him. And take a Seed of Henbane, steep it in Mare's Milk; and take the Nasal Mucus of a Cow, with Grains of Barley, put these into a Leather Skin made from a Fawn and on the outside bind it up with Mulehide Skin, and attach it as an Amulet during the Waning of the Moon in a Female Sign of the Zodiac on a Day of Kronos or Hermes [i.e., Saturn or Mercury]. Mix in also, with the Barley Grains, Cerumen from the Ear of a Mule. [PGM XXXVI.320-32]

Snarking: The Next Generation

Star Trek: The Next Generation (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So we've started watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. Tonight, we saw interstellar meth heads  (also seen in Wrath of Khan) and we got to see an awesome new instrument which I have dubbed the "Dildophone."
Like a xylophone, only with peens.

Tom said I should learn to play the Dildophone and I said "hang on, let me find my mallets" and then Tom snarfed his dinner.

On a related note, I may have told my class that the Egyptian creator god masturbated the universe into being because he was bored and that Isis invented the dildo. And something about the personification of PMS.

If I had remembered how much I was going to have to talk about penises and incest, I probably wouldn't have decided on religion and magic this term...  Seriously, Egyptian religion is like those dreadful VC Andrews novels no one admits they read back in the day.

This week I've been battling a wicked cold or something. I cannot brain good. Fortunately class didn't meet today so I didn't subject them to even more random blathering. Well, actually I did, but it was electronic.