SeesawImage via WikipediaI feel as though I've been on one lately. 
My depression has reared it's ugly and unwelcome head again, which has left me weepy and distraught alternating with okay and fairly cheery the past few days.  Bleh.
And the past month has been a weird span of increased fatigue and apathy and migraines interspersed with some okay and even good moments.  Bleh, again.  And all that has meant I've been less consistent with exercise, which has all of me creakier and more painful which doesn't help matters.

The freezing cold also doesn't help.  It's a major act of willpower to take my socks and slippers off to do yoga with the Wii Fit.  Brrrrrrrr.  Add in trying to do anything too motion-intensive or that involves inverting my head when I have a migraine and blech.  Although I guess my feet would be warmer if I barfed on them.

I'm also having a bit of trouble communicating with my therapist, which is something I hope to resolve at our next appointment, first via discussion or, if necessary, requesting to see someone else.  I'm nervous about asserting myself in this context, but resolved to do it anyway.  Failing to address the issue isn't going to do anyone any favors. 
Wish me luck. 

In better news, my new reading glasses seem to be helping immensely with some of my neck pain now that I'm no longer straining forward to read.  There's still some soreness, I think from my neck and shoulders readjusting to a better position, but it's not nearly as awful and I haven't had as much neck pain with my migraines. 

I also got a new chair today to use for crafting.  I'm hoping a comfortable, supportive chair will make it easier and therefore more likely for me to go play with polymer clay and my sewing machine. 

And I bought a book holder so it's easier for me to read when my arthritis flares up in my hands.

I am sincerely hoping a recent med change will kick in soon regarding the depression and the migraines.  I hate this crap, especially feeling worthless and awful and like some sissy drama queen and then feeling awful for feeling like that, and... 
I'm still not entirely convinced drilling a hole in my head wouldn't help.   Or a knitting needle up the nose?

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Alwen said...

I just hate that whole feeling miserable over feeling miserable feedback cycle!

I am just creeping out of a couple years of losing my brain to perimenopause. Good heavens, my house! WHERE are my floors! I've never been a great housekeeper, but now I have quite a bit of catching up to do.

Anonymous said...

hey, did you ever look into lyme disease? it would make sense with your symptoms and your "psychogenic" diagnosis.

i was diagnosed with a "psychogenic" movement disorder at 2 top university hospitals where i live.

well, i finally got tested for lyme and guess what? it came back positive.

you know your not crazy. these things happening to you are not because your depressed. have you ever heard of anyone else "depressed" who had involuntary movements?

your depressed b/c these things are happening to you.

but you can do something about it. lots of people have been misdiagnosed with psychiatric illness when they really were sick!


involuntary movements caused by lyme disease.

really, what have you got to lose?

Watch this trailer, i guarantee it will make you feel better:


Look into it. It might change your life. Good luck.