Polymer Clay

I got woken up early today by someone trying to deliver flowers to not me.  I wouldn't have minded but dude kept leaning on the buzzer which kept startling me as I was trying to disentangle myself from my CPAP (I wound up yanking it to the floor), Oreo was barking and I had no pants.  I did have a robe and long nightshirt, at least.  After all his frantic buzzing, he looked positively dejected to learn he was at the wrong number.  I would have been more sympathetic but, you know, CPAP on the floor, very sleepy and NO PANTS!

I decided to stay up because I don't know why.  Eventually I broke out the pasta machine for the first time and played with some polymer clay.  Mmmm, polymer clay.  I like the pasta machine.  I also like wearing gloves to work with the clay.  Less successful was some work with my hand-carved stamps and the clay, but I'm working on it.  While my stamps work well enough with ink or paint, using them on clay catches all of the less than smooth edges and lines.  This results in less than satisfactory imprints.  I may fiddle around with other techniques.   I also worked on sanding a few baked pieces with a sanding block.  I want a Dremel.  My shoulder hurts and the stupid things still don't look like I want them to.

I'm tempted to play with my new double points, but I'm also really sleepy which usually = major frustration.  Meh.

In more annoying news, after having had a birthday dinner for Tom we have a bunch of dishes (we usually use paper plates) to do.  I've been working on them a few at a time because I've gotten all droppy lately.  Seriously.  Even with my rubber gloves.  And it's not just dishes.  Books, meds, paper cups, soap, shampoo bottles, eating utensils.  Yeah.  Not happy.

How to Know if She Wants You: Men's Health aka Why Men are Confused All the Time

How to Know if She Wants You: Men's Health

This is a fabulously stupid list in so many, many ways I simply couldn't resist making my own snarky commentary.

1.I call you by your first name instead of your nickname, because, babe, I'm not one of your buds, nor do I intend to become one.

Because it couldn't possibly be that I find saying "Turd-blossom" to anyone in public distasteful. Or that I can't remember your nickname. Or that I'm trying to avoid being overly familiar so you won't think I have the hots for you.

2.I apply lip gloss often, but not in your presence. (If you witness makeup application of any sort, start calling yourself Chandler—you're officially a friend.)

Can guys tell when we're wearing lipgloss? Also, could it just be that I don't like applying lip gloss in front of guys because some of them find it sexual?

3.I rub my lips together often in your presence.

Because it's totally not because the damn lipgloss is sticky.

4.I sit at the edge of my seat.

What? I'm thinking this is more because you're giving off stalker vibes and I want to make a quick get away.

5.It's my birthday, and I'm still talking to you 10 minutes after you bought me a drink. (Note: Birthday girls of any age are easy—doubly so at decade markers.)

No.

6.Instead of merlot, I order a Corona, which, conveniently, is served in a bottle—the better to sexily sip from.

Plus, I hear that after beer belch is SUPER sexay. Also - any time I try to daintily sip form a bottle I make weird squealchy sounds.

7.My speech pattern is starting to resemble, like, Kirsten Dunst's.

Nothing to do with the Corona. Also, no chance I'm being sarcastic. None.

8.You smoke. I don't. Yet I'm talking to you.

Couldn't be because you're simply an interesting person. Nope.

9.I touch you (for any reason) more than once.
Does shoving your hand off my thigh count for this? Because I'm pretty sure that's a different kind of sign. How about smacking you for saying something stupid? OMG - I think I want to sleep with all of my male friends!!!!! (Ewwwww...)

10.I laugh, frequently and nervously, even amid humorless conversation.

You could be unintentionally hilarious. That's probably not a good thing.

11.I shout in your ear, because "it's so loud in here, I can't hear you!"

WHAT!?!?!

12.I use your name often in conversation.

Huh? Should I stop calling men by their names for fear they'll think I want in their pants?

13.I tell you that you look like some particular celebrity, which means I think both you and the celebrity are very hot.

What if that celebrity is Sarah Jessica Parker?

14.I bring up antimatter and black holes, or any other such pseudobrainy and vaguely sexual topic for discussion.

How in the hell are those topics either pseudobrainy or vaguely sexual? "When our particles meet, all creation will come to an end...baby." "I'll black your hole" (ewww).

15.The place is a rod-fest, yet I'm talking to you and you alone.

No chance you simply seem the least skeezy. Or the most sober. Or the most likely to snap if I talk to someone else.

16.My cell phone rings and I don't answer it. And I turn off my ringer immediately.

This couldn't possibly mean that I simply think it's rude to interrupt conversations with ANYONE with non-essential phone calls.

17.I say in a quasi-question/observation tone, "Your girlfriend must really like that?!" (A classic fishing-expedition tactic to ascertain whether there's currently a woman with this title in your life.)

There is no way this could possibly be sarcastic. None. No chance.

18.I tell you you're talented. a) It's a measured remark, so you know I'm sincere. b) By the Mick Jagger Laws of Chemistry, it must therefore follow that I think you're damn sexy. Talent is personality salsa: adds hot to any dish.

See 17.

19.I call you first. Or, sometimes, simply, I call you at all.

This is the only thing on this list so far that makes even a remote amount of sense. And that's not really saying a whole lot...

20.When you take me out for drinks, I'm wearing a different outfit or shoes or carrying a different handbag than when you saw me earlier today.

Couldn't be because I needed to change out of uncomfortable or inappropriate clothing. Or that I wanted to bring the purse with the brick in it in case you read the other things on this list and think you're totally going to score.

21.I'm late, but, interestingly, had enough time to put on mascara.

Unless you like looking like you crusted tar on your lashes most people should not be able to tell you have on mascara. Especially guys.

22.I tell you about the new Coldplay album, developments in the Pinochet case, or the new limited-release Dave Eggers novel I "just happened to hear about" because last time we spoke, you mentioned your interest in the London sound, international law, or postmodern literature, respectively.

It couldn't possibly be that I have a decent memory and basic social and conversational skills.

23.I ask you if you know where the coatroom/bathroom/VIP room in this place is. When you tell me, I raise my eyebrows, turn, and walk in the correct direction.

What? No, really, WHAT? This is going to lead to oh so many unfortunate accusations of sexual assault. And/or a lot of assaults with very heavy handbags. Somehow, I don't think that's a very healthy suggestion "Men's Health."

24.I'm in the bathroom for more than 3 minutes, which is always more than adequate time to actually pee.

Bullshit it's enough time to pee. Has the idiot woman who wrote this article never been in a ladies room with insufficient stalls? Especially in a bar?

25.I ask if you want a taste of my dinner, meaning I'm willing to share more than my gnocchi.

Hurr, Italian dumplings are such a wonderful double-entendre. I call bullshit on this too - offering to share a bite is often just polite.

26.You've taken over the starring role in all my fantasies. You have no way of detecting this, just thought you'd like to know . . .

face:palm

27.I remove any article of clothing other than my coat.

So, in order to not send the wrong signals, I should keep on my earmuffs, hat, scarf, gloves, and mittens. Sexay.

Graveyard Shift

Okay, I'm just embracing it for now. Up all night, asleep all day. Whatever, brain. Most of my activities are sufficiently quiet that I won't keep Tom and Oreo awake or bother the neighbors. So, this evening I will be carving stamps and watching movies on the Roku. Suck it, diurnal rhythm. Now to decide what to watch: Star Trek, The A-Team, the old Battlestar Galactica, or something else altogether?

At some point, I have to make my new fascinator, too. Got a wedding to go to on Friday, thus an excuse for crazy things in my hair. :) With luck, Tom will be modeling for photos again - he's my preferred model, especially since Oreo won't hold still. This one is going to have purple flowers and white feathers. Possibly some yellow and purple ribbons too. As I pretty much make them up as I go along, there isn't so much of a plan yet.

The continuing adventures of having my internal clock broken

So, despite having walked A WHOLE LOT on Sunday to go get my yarn and stop and watch ducks napping and rats swimming, I could not sleep Sunday night. I tried. Valiantly. At one point I was nearly in tears I wanted so desperately to be asleep. I did all the things insomniacs are supposed to do. Laid there and tried to sleep. When I couldn't, I got up, got some water, sat in low light and read for a bit. Went back to try to sleep. Nothing. Had some benadryl, less to help me sleep because it rarely does help much anymore than to help with two really nasty mosquito bites. Still nothing. Up. Down. CPAP on, CPAP off.

I did not fall asleep until 9 or 9:30 this morning. And despite setting an alarm for mid-afternoon, did not wake up until 5. Again. Sigh.

Anyway, I'm going to keep trying on the regular "normal" schedule front, but I'm also not going to be really disappointed (or all that surprised) if I don't manage it. I, and everyone around me, might just have to get used to my weird schedule.

I'm still really tired today and feel a bit off - I'm not sure if I'm tired from the walk or from the mosquito bites. Ridiculous as that sounds, I had an insanely intense allergic reaction to the bites. One bite on the middle joint in my thumb. My whole thumb swelled up so badly I couldn't really bend it, turned red-purple, and radiated heat. The other on my foot has been itchy beyond all belief and also turned most of the outer portion of my foot red-purple. Probably didn't help the sleeping problems.

I've been feeling a bit...dazed is the best word I can come up with lately. Brain fog is a constant problem for me, but I feel like I've been a bit more dazed and daft with brief moments of lucidity in between. I find myself forgetting if I just took a pill or if I just *meant* to take it (fortunately, this is only with OTC stuff, my prescriptions are in a daily med box so I *know* if I took it or not). Or why I got up to go to the kitchen. Or what I was just about to say. I think there've been more typos lately too.

I suspect this all means it's time to reassess activity levels again and adjust accordingly. Goody. Just in time for us to have to move within the next 6 weeks.

I did get a bit of work done today despite all of that. I did some sewing on a wedding present. I submitted two job applications. Fingers-crossed on those - some income for me would be very nice. And I'm curious to see if I can manage teaching on-line. Tom has very, very sweetly taken care of cutting and some seam ironing for me to help me get further with the wedding present too. Team-work rocks! He also worked hard this weekend on the car and did the grocery shopping and made dinner both nights. I'm so lucky!

Holy Lasers, I'm a Nerd, Batman!

Just got back from dermatology appointment. Quick, non-eventful (in a good way) aside from some to-ing and fro-ing because the department is now split between floors for some dumb reason.

However - there was a scary part. I was totally in the neural neutralizer room from Dagger of the Mind.

There was one of these on the ceiling:

And the chair was kind of like this:

Except that it didn't have a screaming William Shatner in it. Or his hairpiece. Lame.

Okay, so it was actually the laser treatment room (or so they claim) and not a place where people's brains are erased and re-written in whatever manner some other lunatic thinks appropriate (that's across the quads at the University proper). Anyway, I think I just got stuck in there because it was convenient. No lasers for me.

On a side note, my sleep schedule re-setting plan was a big fat fail. I went to bed at 11. Couldn't sleep. At all. Finally got up and laid on the couch around 4:30 and read for a bit. Then fell asleep for maybe an hour. So, now I'm trying to stay awake all day. I apologize in advance for any increasingly incoherent posts that may result.

Also, my thumb hurts again. Stupid thumb.

Inverted Sleep Schedule and Other Stupidity

Right, so, another day when I slept until 5 PM. Of course, I couldn't fall asleep until 7:30 AM, so I guess that's not so bad. I was going to try to stay up most of the day, take a nap and sleep tonight but around 6:30 I just could not stay awake any longer - something that used to happen to me only very, very rarely. I was bad and slept without my CPAP, hoping that would make it easier for me to sleep tonight. I must admit, sleeping without the CPAP every now and then is wonderful - I can be in whatever position I want, including my stomach, without being caught up in tubing (makes for even more fun nightmares) or having the mask shoved too far up my nose (ow) or inadvertently blocking the expiration valve and making horrible noises (think of the noise that would result from sticking your hand in front of Darth Vader's mask. No, not the sound of him choking your dumb-ass, but the sound of your hand blocking his exhalation) as a result.

My thumb seems to be feeling better. It started to ache mildly when I folded laundry today, but nowhere near as bad as the past few days. I'm only getting a little twinge now and then. So, fingers-crossed (bad pun) it's nearly better and I can stop favoring it. And get back to crafting. I haven't been sewing because of it or knitting. And I haven't been crocheting because my current skein got all stupidly tangled up and I'm too lazy to untangle it. I should just switch to a different skein, but that would be logical.

So, no crafty stuff today. I am pleasantly sleepy already and may well crawl back in bed soon. I have an early appointment tomorrow with the dermatologist so sleeping tonight would be good. And I've REALLY got to figure out a way to make myself get up in the morning even when I don't have an appointment. Seriously - my brain seems to decide "ah, no where to be - SLEEP!" and the next thing I know it's late afternoon, even when I set an alarm.

Recent post on CraftFail

Here is a shameless plug for my latest contribution to CraftFail.  Also, any of my readers with fails of their own are encouraged to contribute!

Yay! Craft Fail!

My contribution to the fun new blog, CraftFail, has gone live.  I suspect as time goes on, I will be a regular contributor.  :)

Oreo vs. the Mouse

An epic (avoidance of) battle...

So, while we were gone a mouse took up residence behind one of our bookcases next to our corner entertainment center.  We accidentally left Oreo's bowl out with some food in it and the mouse obviously realized he had hit the ultimate vermin jackpot.  

Oreo's reaction has been to avoid his bowls despite thorough cleaning (which are by the bookcase because he won't eat unless someone is with him and standing in the kitchen while he eats isn't feasible) and eye the general area with mild concern.  

Meanwhile, the mouse has been being a little punk ass.  Tom put down a glue trap along a route the mouse almost has to take.  Unfortunately, it's an old glue trap and isn't all that sticky.  The mouse, apparently channeling Cirque du Soleil, does this awesome sort of handstand/cartwheel maneuver on the baseboard every time he needs to take that path.  If he does get a little mousey paw stuck, it doesn't stick that much and he just jiggles a bit and gets free.  

So, the mouse has been having a blast running around on the bookshelf.  He fell off some books the other night and landed with an audible thunk on the floor.  Did he panic?  No.  He laid there looking kind of dazed, shook his head a few times, and went on his merry vermin way.  Meanwhile, our noble hunter, descendant of wolves, companion to royalty, one time member of the Sporting class continued to snooze next to me on the couch.  Not even an ear twitch.  At best, he cuddles closer to me if the mouse's chewing gets a bit loud.

Bear in mind, this is the same dog who launches himself with vicious barking, growling, slavering abandon at horses, cows, CTA busses, motorcycles, moose (on TV), German Shepherds, and pillows.  

We decided it was time that Oreo have a heart to heart with his daddy...

Daddy (Oreo's that is) tries a pep talk:

(Oreo hates lectures)

The pep talk continues...

Oreo remains unconvinced...

Finally, Daddy gets to the point...

"Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!" Oreo expresses his disdain for having something as nasty as a mouse in his mouth. Ptththt.

So, the score is currently:  

Mouse:  1

Humans:  0

Oreo:  Not even in the game