Fuzzy Bandito News Flash

Image via Wikipedia

Come on, you knew it was just a matter of time before I posted this.

Alert:
A group of raccoons in the area destroyed some papyrus plants and a pepper plant.

Clearly this means they are making paper on which to make plans for world domination. While enjoying some salsa.

Watch for further updates. And raccoons with pencils.

Related articles

• Fuzzy Banditos (shovelingferret.blogspot.com)

Fuzzy Banditos

Image via Wikipedia

The perfect storm of suburban vermin, Grabby and Stinky.

I heard clinking on the porch last night. Flipped the light on and peeked through the blinds to see several raccoons very carefully tipping over the planters to see if there was anything good in them. They didn't break anything. After a while they got bored and annoyed with the light and left, probably to go dumpster diving. Only one seemed to suspect they were being spied upon and kept staring at the glass like "I know you're there."

Fortunately, we don't let Oreo run around alone outside, so that shouldn't be an issue.

Tom put some of the plants in hanging planters today. Do raccoons do acrobatics? And if so, do they wear leotards and capes or should I make some for them?

I am guessing they're smart enough not to eat the peppers from his pepper plant but if I do see a raccoon on the patio frantically swiping at his tongue I'll try to get photos.

In other news, I had insomnia like whoa bad and didn't get to sleep until around 7 this morning and then slept until around 3. I woke up to a shaved dog. He'd gotten into a burr patch and Tom wisely decided shaving was better than trying to pick out each little burr. Those things hurt like hell and I think I have a mild allergic reaction to them. Poor Oreo.

He looks very handsome now, though.

The sliding glass door is becoming a source of random amusement. We've had the raccoons. People cut through between the patio and the patch of woods. Today a Boston Terrier and his person cut through there. Oreo went nuts and they were nose-to-nose through the glass. Oreo is most disgruntled that we did not react appropriately to OMG HE COULD COME IN HERE!!!


We've been mostly trapped in the apartment complex the past few days. Cruising the Coast is going on, which is awesome, except that Highway 90 is the only way in or out of our apartment complex and it is being heavily cruised. Tom biked to WalMart to get me more allergy meds and some food because he is made of awesome.

Mouse Wars: Revenge of the Humans

As I have mentioned before, we have mice.  Not the nice little pet kind or even the kind that you feed to other pets.  No, the wild invader unwelcome kind.  Oreo utterly failed at mouse deterrence.  The live trap apparently operated as an example of survival of the fittest and captured only the stupid ones.  The glue traps the exterminator gave us failed utterly.  Snap traps are useless.  So, we finally turned to poison.  

The type of poison we used is pellet form and is essentially an anticoagulant at a dosage massive for mice.  For a while, I was convinced that all the mice actually had high blood pressure or abnormal blood clots and that we were just helping them out, because they were still merrily piddling behind (and on) the lower shelf of my bookcase and behind the TV.  Or that, like some rats, they had become resistant. 

Eventually though, all but one has departed.  Whether this world altogether or merely our apartment, I don't really care.  

The apartment had started to smell like an enormous hamster cage. (And I have now ensured that we will never have visitors again...) My allergies were going nuts.  So, today, we decided to move the bookshelves and the TV and other furniture, use the ShopVac on the hardwood floor behind and thoroughly saturate the baseboards with Lysol.  It seems to have gone pretty well.  I've only had to trash a few old notebooks that were icky with vermin leavings.  My throat did start to close up a bit near the end and I'm weak all over, despite having only moved books back and forth and dusted while Tom did all the actual heavy labor.  I think it was worth it, though.  I think we'll have another few rounds of spraying the baseboards with Lysol or Febreeze or vinegar (suggestions for removing that odor that don't involve killing all of us are welcome in the comments) and we've left bait and a mousey obstacle course just in case they mount a counter-offensive.  

Image courtesy of Madprime, available at Wikimedia Commons

Begun, this mouse war has...

As I mentioned a few weeks back, we have a mouse problem in our apartment.  Apparently, the whole building is having a problem, so it isn't just my sucktastic house-wifely skills that led to the problem.  Rather than just one mouse, we have a whole freakin' army.  We caught the original mouse that was originally taunting me, along with his/her baby or little sibling or padawan learner or whatever the hell it was.  And released them.  And came home that evening to hear the scratching of little mousey paws.  And squeaking.  This new bunch is loud.  I was hoping that indicated mousey civil war, but I think they're just punk teenagers.

Anyway, we've stuck with live-catch options because a) I hate to kill the things even if they are nasty, uninvited little verminy trespassers; b) I don't do poison for fear someone's pet will eat the poison or a poisoned vermin and the unpleasant consequences; c)  I also don't do poison because you know the little bastards pick the most difficult to get to place to die so they stink up the room for months.  Also, if they aren't going for the live-catch glue traps and enclosed traps, I'm not all that convinced they would be lured into deadly traps either.  

Last night, we decided to venture into the realms of chemical warfare, however, by spritzing around some diluted ammonia and some peppermint oil.  Apparently mice don't like those smells.  Or something.  I have no idea if it's working.

Oreo remains committed to his pacifism in regard to vermin.   He does, however, continue to bark at cartoon dogs on television.

Oreo vs. the Mouse

An epic (avoidance of) battle...

So, while we were gone a mouse took up residence behind one of our bookcases next to our corner entertainment center.  We accidentally left Oreo's bowl out with some food in it and the mouse obviously realized he had hit the ultimate vermin jackpot.  

Oreo's reaction has been to avoid his bowls despite thorough cleaning (which are by the bookcase because he won't eat unless someone is with him and standing in the kitchen while he eats isn't feasible) and eye the general area with mild concern.  

Meanwhile, the mouse has been being a little punk ass.  Tom put down a glue trap along a route the mouse almost has to take.  Unfortunately, it's an old glue trap and isn't all that sticky.  The mouse, apparently channeling Cirque du Soleil, does this awesome sort of handstand/cartwheel maneuver on the baseboard every time he needs to take that path.  If he does get a little mousey paw stuck, it doesn't stick that much and he just jiggles a bit and gets free.  

So, the mouse has been having a blast running around on the bookshelf.  He fell off some books the other night and landed with an audible thunk on the floor.  Did he panic?  No.  He laid there looking kind of dazed, shook his head a few times, and went on his merry vermin way.  Meanwhile, our noble hunter, descendant of wolves, companion to royalty, one time member of the Sporting class continued to snooze next to me on the couch.  Not even an ear twitch.  At best, he cuddles closer to me if the mouse's chewing gets a bit loud.

Bear in mind, this is the same dog who launches himself with vicious barking, growling, slavering abandon at horses, cows, CTA busses, motorcycles, moose (on TV), German Shepherds, and pillows.  

We decided it was time that Oreo have a heart to heart with his daddy...

Daddy (Oreo's that is) tries a pep talk:

(Oreo hates lectures)

The pep talk continues...

Oreo remains unconvinced...

Finally, Daddy gets to the point...

"Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!" Oreo expresses his disdain for having something as nasty as a mouse in his mouth. Ptththt.

So, the score is currently:  

Mouse:  1

Humans:  0

Oreo:  Not even in the game