Planet of the Spray Tan

Watching "The Apple" at the moment.

Also known as:
"Look at these freaking Oompa Loompas"
"Holy crap, it's the planet of the guidos."
"Beta Carotene is all we eat"

Also, I've discovered another instance of Star Trek character or Republican?

Check it out:

Orange dipshit.

Uncannily similar orange dipshit who borrowed Biden's hair.

Someone find me a Democrat Star Trek doppleganger. I'll give you an internet pie. Or something.

The Sentimentality of Teaching

Image by shoveling_ferret via Flickr

The past few days and coming week are a time of introspection and memory for me. Tom has gone on a 10-day trip to Sudan leaving me with decidedly mixed feelings. I of course hope he has fun and is safe, but there are emotions connected with some less than pleasant memories of that last season and, I must admit, a tiny bit of jealousy that he can go and I no longer can. Adulthood is a bitch.

I'm also preparing to teach again and have been updating my syllabus and reviewing my old lecturing notes and presentations. I hadn't realized how many memories would be triggered doing this. I have found myself remembering the days in class I learned about certain topics. How difficult translating particular texts was. And in reviewing introductions to formal translations, very amused reading between the lines in discussions of why particular approaches were taken in translation.
I am happy that most of those memories are pleasant and leave me a bit wistful, but not depressed or even particularly regretful.
I am looking forward to teaching again and hoping desperately that my brain fog and fatigue and occasional aphasia won't be too much to deal with. I am optimistic in that regard.

Oreo, on the other hand, is a bit grumpy that I have several books and papers out, which means that I am not available to pay full attention to him at any moment. Poor doggy.

Course Prep

Psycho-kinetic Ancient Space Greeks Are Assholes

Image via Wikipedia

Woo, Star Trek.

At the moment, the episode Plato's Stepchildren is on. For those who are not complete nerds, this episode is best known for being one of the first interracial kisses shown on national television in the United States. Shatner got to smooch Nichelle Nichols.

As it was 1968, NBC was worried that backwards idiots might get all butt-hurt about a white guy kissing a super hot black lady. I'm guessing jealousy was a big part of that. I mean, what good, racist asshole wouldn't want to kiss William Shatner? Wait, what?

As it turns out, it doesn't seem to have been a huge deal. Maybe klan meetings were on Star Trek nights? Or no one felt like driving to LA to burn crosses?

Aside from the stupid racism, there's a huge pile of other stupid there. There are far more disturbing things than a kiss in that episode.

Shatner pretending to be a very vocal pony while being ridden by the character Alexander ranks much, much higher in the "holy shit, I am actively uncomfortable watching this" category.

Also, very short tunics. On men. Not good.

Spock is forced to dance around Kirk's head and then be all emotional.

Also, the bitchy "Platonian" lady seems to be getting off on watching Kirk and Uhura being forced to make out.

And Majel Barrett's eye makeup is, um, yeah...

An entire society of ancient space Egyptians would have been waaaaaay cooler.

National Holiday

Today should be one, because it's Tom's birthday.

Prostrate yourselves before Tom, MASTER OF ARCHAEOLOGY!!!!

Question of Vital Importance

We do not own a recliner. We have a couch, two kind of uncomfortable but lovely old wooden office chairs, a rocking chair, the four chairs with our dining table, my office chair and if we're getting desperate a balance ball, a zafu, a perching stool, and some random pillows.

Oreo doesn't look this derptastic.

My parents and Tom's parents do, however, have recliners as do some friends. Oreo immediately occupies any open recliner as soon as doggily possible. It doesn't matter how many other comfy spots are open - in the absence of food to beg for or appealing toys he is in that recliner. On occasion, he attempts to occupy the recliner even when the usual occupant is still present. Watching Oreo just wander over, jump onto Dad's lap, and actually try to wedge himself further into the recliner with my dad already in it is hilarious.
"Oh, I'm sorry large boy-human, were you already in the chair? I'm a guest, you know. And I need this chair. Also, I find your gruff demeanor entirely unconvincing and will therefore cuddle with you for a minute."

With Tom's dad there's usually a stare down when his dad returns to his briefly unoccupied chair to find Oreo in it. Tom's dad tells Oreo to get out of the chair. Oreo blinks at him. Repeat until Oreo finally slithers out of the chair looking deeply offended.

We were just talking vaguely about getting a nicer couch and recliner at some point. And I wonder - if we could afford it would Oreo prefer a full size recliner or would he like one of those little ones for little kids?

Serious freakin' business, people.

Happy Holidays, Enjoy Your Balls

Went to my in-laws for Xmas this year. Nice trip, fun to see little kids for Christmas.

We drove home today. We pass a state penitentiary on the way. Tom says we should take Oreo to the penitentiary (because saying mean things to Oreo is one of Tom's hobbies).
I replied that Oreo did his time in the joint and had paid his debt to society. (I adopted him from Animal Control lo these many years ago.)
So Tom says maybe we should take him to talk to the inmates:
"Once, I was in a place like this, just like you..."
And I finished:
"...and then they cut off my balls and gave me to some strange lady."

I don't think Oreo will be pursuing a career as a motivational speaker.

In other news, Tom got me knitting books! Rock!

And the Children Shall Lead

Turns out the Plaquenil was doing more than giving me heartburn. I've been out for about a month and the past few weeks my various autoimmune related symptoms have gotten much, much worse. I've been running a fever for at least the past few days, hands have swollen up again, arthritis is worse, tingling/numbness in hands, and my mid-back is like crazy painful. And, really, I was still having wicked heartburn. Dammit. Anyway, I've resumed taking it, hopefully it will work again.

I have also found a wonderful general care clinic. Very happy about that.

Discomfort has been keeping me up late - arthritis or heartburn/acid reflux seem to be taking turns. Grumble.

Tonight I decided some knitting and Star Trek were in order. Tonight, I was particularly interested to notice something about the episode "And the Children Shall Lead." The scary-ass Gorgan dude looks remarkably like a certain former Speaker of the House. Coincidence?

One used mind-control techniques to take advantage of others and sap their strength through fear. The other one is a fictional character.

Ba-dum-tish

And here's some bonus scary:

Identity Crisis

Image via Wikipedia
How did they do aerobics in those robes?
And what exactly is dude measuring with his hands?
And is Jesus pearl-clutching?

So I finally got around to checking the academic schedule to see when I'm teaching next term. I thought I'd have to be ready to go on the 2nd of January as long, painful, sometimes hung-over experience at the University of Chicago had taught me, but it turns out I have until near the end of January to procrastinate updating my lectures and junk. My textbook samples arrived last week (I had requested them in September) and after a grand total of 5 minutes examining them, I adopted two of them for this term in the hopes they'll be slightly less confusing than the textbooks I used last time.

Cool.

It occurs to me though that I am not quite sure what to say when people ask me what I do. I already had a preview of this after my Nana's funeral. Someone asked what I did and my uncle told them I was a teacher. So the guy asked what grade I taught. And I said "college." And there was sort of awkward silence.

Ahem.

Then the guy asked what class I taught and I said "ancient Egyptian history" because that's the easiest answer. And every few minutes for the rest of the afternoon he kindly (and loudly) warned me to watch out for mummies. Why, yes, there was drinking involved, why do you ask?

I decided that was probably not the best time to bring up excavating cemeteries and storing skeletons under my bed for safety (of the skeletons).  Seriously, though, that got really damn annoying.

Anyway, thus my identity crisis.

I'm not a professor. Technically I'm an instructor. But I can already see the hilarity possible in that conversation.

Random person: So, what do you do?
Me: I'm an instructor.
Random person: Of what?
Me: (Gripping cane tightly) Aerobics.¹

Also, the campus where I teach is in a mall. As in next to JC Penny's. Because surreality is my reality.

---

1 Other potential responses include: "Karate" and "Your Mom"

Grover Is Disappoint

I'm glad to see that despite no longer living in the big city, we still get stories of utter derpitude locally. Like this bunch of dimwits calling themselves the Savior Unit. I especially like this quote from the news article I linked:

The manual has a manifesto of the group that includes promoting Christ, helping law enforcement, doing community service, reconnaissance, infiltration, apprehension and “retrieval.”

This puts me in mind of a song from my childhood.

I think maybe these guys missed Sesame Street.

Not enough room

...to expand on her badassness
Justine Petronzi Obituary: View Justine Petronzi's Obituary by Reno Gazette-Journal

Is that Anton Lavey?

See my confusion?

Image via Wikipedia
Chief Attention Whore

Chief Thrall
Gamesters of Triskelion

The Trouble with The Trouble with Tribbles

Image via Wikipedia

Folding laundry, packing, etc, and watching Star Trek. The Trouble with Tribbles at the moment.

You know the famous scene of Kirk in the pile of tribbles falling out of the overhead storage compartment?

How creepy is it to realize Kirk is essentially standing in a pile of recently deceased animals? Ewwwww!!!
Reasonably certain they deleted the "ewww! flail!!!" scene.

Spoiler Alert: (for those too lame to watch Star Trek)
At the end we find out Scotty has disposed of the overload of tribbles on the Enterprise by beaming them somewhere.

Kirk is all "holy shit, you didn't beam them into space, you monstrous Haggis-eater!" (I may be fuzzy on the exact dialogue. Oh, wow, that was a horrible pun.)

Scotty is all "dude, chill, what the hell, I'm not that demented! I sent them to the Klingon ship. Geez, are you PMSing or what this episode?"

And then everyone is all LULZ, Klingons and tribbles hate each other - EPIC TROLL IS EPIC!

Except how are the Klingons going to deal with the tribbles unless it's by killing them in some way? Or will this become some interstellar game of Pass the Tribbles?

Gratitude

Thank you, everyone for all your kind thoughts and messages over the past few days. Schedules being all muddled, I will be going out for the funeral by myself.

Tom and Oreo will be on their own!

I'll be leaving here on Wednesday morning, flying to Las Vegas, and then riding up to Reno for the funeral on Friday, staying to visit for a bit and then coming home on Tuesday.

Thank goodness for my Kindle, smartphone, and plastic crochet hooks - I should have plenty of entertainment in very little luggage.

I think Nana's fabulous shopping spirit was with me yesterday - I needed to find a dress for the service and a new winter coat and managed to find both and some luggage that still rolls and isn't full of archaeological dirt. My new coat is bright pink - one of Nana's favorites.

Today I'm recovering from throwing up most of last night - I think I had a super-migraine-of-super-suckitude. Nausea is pretty typical for me, but not full-on projective vomiting. :( Hopefully this was just an unholy combination of stress, weather, and allergies and will not become a trend given how little good most meds do for me.

Fun fact: sitting on a folding stool in front of the toilet instead of kneeling is a lot friendlier to knees. Also, really glad we have two bathrooms now as Tom's parents were visiting this weekend...

I'm feeling a bit better now, sipping flat ginger ale and chicken broth and eating crackers. Oreo is very pleased about the crackers. Poor Tom has a cold, but is still taking very good care of me.

In Memorial

My Nana, who had been living with esophageal cancer for a little over a year passed away this morning. She was at home, where she wanted to be, and it was quiet and peaceful.

She was a very tough lady and I'm proud to have been named after her. She was up and about until late last week.

My uncle has been living with her since my Papa passed away and has been her primary caretaker the last few years for which we are all very grateful.

Rest in Peace, Anne McCaffrey

Image via Wikipedia

Anne McCaffrey Has Died - GalleyCat

The Dragonriders of Pern series is pretty much what, along with Star Trek and a few other bits of science fiction and fantasy, kept a very geeky, socially awkward, frequently bullied, and often bored teenaged Shoveling Ferret somewhat sane and alive and even happy through middle and early high school.

And I still have a huge geek crush on Robinton and sometimes wish Oreo was a fire lizard and would dearly love to visit Pern somewhere other than my imagination.

Thank you, Anne. You made a lot of people very happy, very thoughtful, and very entertained. 

Oreo is a Punk

My dog is a brat. You all knew this, but some of you like hearing about his brattiness and really, this was hilarious.

We just got up and first thing is always to take him out because he's getting older and the bladder, it gets full and hard to control after lots of sleep.

So, I toss on my jacket over my jammies and we go out the front door of the apartment, which leads to a sort of breezeway down the center of the building. One way goes to the parking lot, the other goes to the little patch of woods that our patio faces. We usually go toward the woods because it's more potty-friendly and closer.

So, he hops down off the cement to the woods, pees, and then makes a bee-line for our patio. And hops up on it. And goes to the sliding door. And then looks at me like I'm stupid.

And I (because I've given up seeming normal in public) say out loud:  "I can't let you in that door, it's locked." And I try to coax him off the porch and back to the front door. Nuh-uh. Will not move.

Finally, I pinned his leash under the chair on the patio, went in the front door, and opened the sliding glass door. Oreo trotted right in and waited for me to take off his harness and give him his treat.

I am very well trained.

I would like to apologize

to the people who got here via the last search phrase on this list

And wound up with this:

From this post.

This is relevant to my interests

From Free Vintage Crochet

I've been re-reading the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I loved the books as a child, picked them up again a year or two ago, and have found they make superb comfort reading.

Last night I noticed that Laura was knitting a "nubia" for her sister, Mary. Given my past interest and work in Nubian studies, that stuck out a bit.

As near as I can seem to find in very brief Google and Ravelry browse, a "nubia" or "nubian" is a long scarf or shawl, wide enough to drape gently over the head and around the neck. This PDF from Ragged Soldier gives a modern example along with an historic illustration. They seem to have come into fashion in the late 19th Century and lasted through the early 20th.  There are vintage/historic crochet and knitting patterns available as well for free and on eBay and as Kindle "books" on Amazon. (I strongly recommend searching the internet for patterns found for sale on Amazon, as they may simple be free patterns converted (or not) to Kindle file format.

Image by mek22 via Flickr

Not sure this is a Nubian goat, but photo kicks ass.

The term  seems to have no connection to Nubia the place or Nubians the people, despite both terms being used. I thought maybe it referred to Nubian goats, but they don't look much like fiber animals. Then I thought maybe the droopy ears and the scarf over the head looked sort of alike.

But, no, I finally found this:

Nubia. [From Latin nubes, a cloud] A knitted or crocheted scarf of Soft, fleecy material, worn about the head and neck. (Source)

So, no telling people their hand-knit or hand-crocheted scarves make them look like goats. Probably for the best.

In other news, the weather has cooled of here and my head and hands are making it felt. Hopefully will level out soon.
Also, the idiotic Personhood Amendment failed. So I will have no reason to use the phrase "pry my IUD out of my cold, dead uterus."

Girly Fru-Fru Stuff

I got my package of wonderful soap and shampoo bar samples from Chagrin Valley Soap today. Opening our mail box sent the most wonderful minty-herbal scent wafting out. I had taken Oreo over to the big central mail box thing for the apartment complex and actually wound up using the lovely scents to keep him moving.
He's a sucker for pretty smells. Loves chamomile and baby's breath especially. No idea why.

Anyway, my acne has flared up something fierce lately and I've been getting sores on my scalp again. Not fun. I seem to be getting the acne to ease off a little, but cycling through my shampoo/conditioners and even trying some new ones hasn't helped the head much.

I had tried Chagrin Valley shampoo bars several years ago in Chicago. I had fallen in love with LUSH products, but not so much some of the ingredients or the price tag. I had chin-length hair then. Between the water and the hair, I just could not make a go of them, even waiting several weeks, vinegar rinses, etc., etc. So I used up the bars to wash the rest of me and that was that. Then I found one of those old samples stashed in one of my dresser drawers (they smell wonderful, so they serve double duty as potpourri when not in active use). Used it to wash hair and face and it turned out very nicely. Several days in and I don't have that weird grungy-greasy feeling, haven't needed to do a vinegar rinse yet, and scalp sores seem to be improving. I'm guessing the change in water and maybe in hair length helped.

Anyway, Chagrin Valley has lovely, lovely stuff and it is incredibly reasonably priced and there are samples for nearly everything. So I grabbed whatever looked fun. They also have doggie shampoo bars. Tom discovered they're easier to use on Oreo than liquid shampoo when we borrowed one at a friends place. And Oreo is also having some skin itchies, so I'm hoping this will help.

I also scored a solid lotion bar. They're made of waxes and oils that are solid at room temperature but melt when massaged on skin. My hands have become more prone to eczema over the past year, so this is part of my plan of gradually having hand lotion available all over the apartment and in my purse as that seems to be what keeps the itchy, nasty pustules away, but I am sometimes too lazy to hunt for lotion.

So this is the soap I've been making little soap holders for. My first one seems to be just the right size. The one I started last night is going to be too big and will probably need to be frogged. And no, they aren't paying me to gush about their soap on the internets. I will post further info as I try things out.

Also, I have started using Astrid as a to-do list reminder thing. I really like it so far. It's free, web based and has an Android app. Easy interface. You can add in a social component as well.

Bonus Oreo Cuteness