Ozymandias Improved

Last month, I decided that improving Shelley's poem Ozymandias needed to be on my time-travel to-do list.

Today, I saw something about the site xtranormal, which lets you create little animated movies with whatever script you'd like.  It's fairly easy to use, even if you have practically no video or animation experience.  Inspiration, or possibly migraine aura, struck and so I decided to make a short movie with the improved version of the line in question.




I can't quite get him to say "bitches" the way I'd like, but hey, for 15 minutes of effort, not bad.

Ozzy, Bitches: New Item for the Time Travel To Do Iist

Image via WikipediaI haven't added anything to the time-machine to-do list in some time, but a discussion of the poem Ozymandias on Twitter today inspired me.   Along with someone wondering if a nickname for Ozymandias is "Ozzy" and thus also wondering if he bit the heads off of bats, I confessed that whenever I hear the lines:

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

I add the word "bitches" to the end.  Now, while Shelley was probably too much of a whiny emo-kid to have made the poem that much more epic I'm pretty sure Ramses II (aka Ozymandias) would have been all about that.

1.  If someone invents a time machine and I go back to ancient Egypt, scribes better watch out. I will be pimp-slapping every last one of those bastards.
2.  Claim Europe.
3.  Print this out and take a copy to Charles Darwin.  For the lulz.
4.  Find the Trolololo guy and kill him.
5.  Take photos of Akhenaten and his extended family.  And blood samples.  And possibly penis measurements (that's totally getting farmed out to some grad student I hate).
6.  Convince Percy "Emo" Shelley that his poem will be much better as

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair, bitches!"

 

Time Travel To-Do List Addition

1.  If someone invents a time machine and I go back to ancient Egypt, scribes better watch out. I will be pimp-slapping every last one of those bastards.
2.  Claim Europe.
3.  Print this out and take a copy to Charles Darwin.  For the lulz.
4.  Find the Trolololo guy and kill him.  With extreme prejudice.  Seriously, Soviet Russia, what the hell?  Why on Earth didn't they weaponize this guy and his creepy smiley-ness?  The fact that he reminds me vividly of someone I went to grad school with doesn't help.  Also not helping:  Tom and Chip breaking out into the song randomly.  Sigh.

Adding to the time travel list

1.  If someone invents a time machine and I go back to ancient Egypt, scribes better watch out. I will be pimp-slapping every last one of those bastards.
2.  Claim Europe.
3.  Print this out and take a copy to Charles Darwin.  For the lulz.

My list of things to do when I get a time machine

1. If someone invents a time machine and I go back to ancient Egypt, scribes better watch out. I will be pimp-slapping every last one of those bastards.
2.
Wulffmorgenthaler.com | Comic strip | Entertainment - Since 2002. A Commentary on Life: Politics, News, Entertainment, Technology, Culture, and Weirdo Beavers

I think I'm going to try to make this an ongoing list as new ideas occur to me.