Accepting Applications

When we first moved in this building, it was the quiet building in the complex. Now, not so much. The people above us seem to regularly bounce bowling balls.  Seriously, our ceiling visible dips at times and the ceiling fan shakes. 

With us on the ground floor are at least two apartments full of people who cannot close a door without slamming it. 

We have random tree puncher dude.

No one but us picks up after our dogs. 

The genius teenager in front of us likes to hang out with his friends in the breezeway under the stairs to smoke pot.  I wouldn't care except smoking ANYTHING in the breezeway is awful. And the kid totally fails at looking innocent. Eventually I will be irritated enough to just tell them. "Look, dude-bro, I can totally tell you're trying and failing to hide a joint over there. I don't care but please go somewhere else. And try to be less of a dipshit."

I want a cabin. With distant neighbors. 

Until then, I am grumpy and wish to smite things ala Narmer. I need a volunteer to carry my sandals though. Thus the title of this post. Please submit your applications in the comments.

WE ARE PREPARED!

So Isaac, who apparently has serious identity crises issues, is heading for us. Probably. Whatever. Tropical storm, hurricane, tropical storm, and back and forth and back and forth like a hooker in Tampa right now.

We've got food and water and Tom has booze and I have yarn and Oreo has pillows. We're sheltering in place.

Also, super headlight of superness

Bring it, bitches!

Things we have learned:

• Dippy stoner girls do their hurricane shopping around 9:30 PM and make me want to stab people
• Plastic forks sell out quickly
• Every public official in and near New Orleans sounds nuts

Also, if I wake up and this bastard has turned into a Cat 3 or something overnight I'm going to be really, really pissed. As it is, it's probably going to just sit over a huge swath of the Gulf Coast, aka "The Land Mass between NOLA and Mobile" for at least a day with major storm features.

Oh, and according to the Weather Channel, I got my BA at this place:

Mississippi State? Never heard of it.
See more on Know Your Meme

Thanks, guys. We had almost gotten over no one being able to pronounce Biloxi properly after Katrina.
And, you know, everyone flipping their shit about New Orleans when the entire "Land Mass" was laid waste.

Related articles

• Isaac threat to Gulf well beyond New Orleans

Native Americans modified American landscape years prior to arrival of Europeans

Image via WikipediaNative Americans modified American landscape years prior to arrival of Europeans

My Twitter followers will have already seen my response, but because I am particularly arthritic and therefore grumpy today, I wanted to reiterate:

No shit, really!?!?

[sarcasm]
Humans modified landscapes in which they lived? Even the Injun ones? I may die of shock.
[/sarcasm]

Don't get me wrong, having quantifiable evidence is good and the study is pretty cool.  I just tend to get pissy about the tendency some people have of thinking humans were somehow way more stupid or incompetent in the past.  Especially non-European humans.
We're all still pretty much the same.  People in the past and people now are still just as capable of epic awesomeness of achievement of the WIN! or FAIL! variety. And even of somehow managing both at the same time (Ramses II at the Battle of Kadesh, I am totally looking at you.  "Derpty-do, I'll totally believe these random spies and just go on way ahead of the rest of my army and get caught by a huge enemy force...")

I'll go back to grinding my teeth and being aware of each and every joint facet/point of contact in my shoulder, fingers, and sacro-illiac now.

The latest news

I saw my neurologist yesterday.  My mom is also in town.  These things are actually related.
Though I chose not to publicize it via the blog at the time, they ran a genetic test for Huntington's Disease.  Though there is absolutely no family history of anything even vaguely resembling it, it was something that needed to be eliminated as a possibility.
I was, understandably, terrified at first.  So, I yelled for my mommy.  And she came running.  Yay for good mommies.
Over the course of the 3 weeks we had to wait for results, after the initial shock wore off, I was fairly calm - the possibility of HD was scary, but is was also incredibly, incredibly remote.
As I expected, the test came back negative.  I will not be turning into a hot bisexual doctor on House or turning into a really awesome folk singer.

The other news, however, is that the very, very preliminary results of my cognitive testing suggest the possibility of a somatoform disorder because I am "concerned about my body and health."  I immediately pointed out that I would think it would be natural for me to be concerned about my body and health given that it doesn't freakin' work properly at the moment.  Anyway, they want me to seriously consider the possibility.  I am less than pleased by this.
One, I considered the possibility 18 months ago when I first started having the major movement issues - I was depressed, I was freaked out over horribleness at work and school, I didn't want to return to that situation.  I wondered if my brain was trying to find a way out for me that didn't require me to throw up my hands and say "I quit."  While I suppose it is still possible that that is precisely what happened, it doesn't explain why I've had major, increasing issues with fatigue over the course of a decade or why I was having balance problems starting in 2006.
Two, I have been being seen in psych for over a year, partly because of my concerns about a somatoform disorder.  I came right out and asked about it and stated my fear that I was, in some way, doing this to myself, however unconsciously.  They didn't seem to think so.  I've been seen there regularly by a therapist and semi-regularly by a psychiatrist.
Three, I would think that having removed myself from the incredibly stressful situation and improved my mental health would have helped the situation.  If anything, while my mental health is remarkably improved, my physical health is the same or slightly worse.  Unfortunately, there is very little evidence based medicine to demonstrate what causes somatoform disorders or how to effectively treat them.  And, frankly, the minute someone brings up Freud I mostly want to slap them.  Or say "he also thought Akhenaten was Moses, so I don't think I'm going to take him seriously, thanks..."

The limited reading I've done about somatoform disorders also suggests that patients diagnosed with it are often really, really freaked out about their health.  I'm not so much freaked out.  I was when the movement stuff first started happening.  Once I figured out that it was just uncomfortable as hell but didn't herald a full seizure or something else that qualified as an emergency, I just find them really damn annoying.  Until they're under control I have trouble walking places and doing things with my hands and there is no way I'll get behind the wheel of a car but I really don't think those things count as "panic" but rather as "common sense."
I am vigilant, but who wouldn't be in my situation?  I don't think I'm hyper vigilant.  I take note of symptoms daily to try to track patterns.  I rarely even call my doctors between appointments  - if something new/weird happens, I tend to adopt a wait and see approach.
I will be totally honest, too - I'm not comfortable with a somatoform disorder diagnosis because I am afraid of the stigma often associated with it.  While some doctors and ordinary people are very understanding and recognize that this isn't a deliberate thing done by the patient to themselves, many, many others are not.  I don't want to be written off as having a purely psychological issue.  I really don't want that to become a major issue as I go through life if other medical problems occur - I don't want to have to convince people to run tests or actually *believe* me because they see "somatoform disorder" in my notes and immediately decide that it's "all in my head."

In any case, I have a meeting to discuss the full results of the cognitive testing in about 10 days.  Hopefully by that time they will have had a more extensive review of the test and my records, and we will have more clarity.
I also managed to talk my way into more diagnostic tests from neurology, including an EMG later today, so we'll see if that shows anything.

Research shows chronically ill might be happier if they gave up hope | University of Michigan Health System

Research shows chronically ill might be happier if they gave up hope | University of Michigan Health System

AKA "Take your Pollyana BS and shove it!"
(Why yes, I'm a bit grouchy today, why do you ask?)

I found this interesting and, though I'm probably prone to confirmation bias here, it does make perfect sense to me.  I've done much, much better since I quit waiting to be "better" and have gotten on with things as best I can.
There is a huge difference between self-pity and accepting reality (something I've gone on at length about before) though it often seems in modern American society that many people cannot grasp that difference.  I am not, by recognizing my limitations and learning to cope with them and by making plans on the basis of how I feel now as opposed to how I might feel in the future, wallowing in self-pity and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of chronic illness and doom.
It would be far, far less healthy to sit around waiting for a "cure" or to feel "better" and to be utterly devastated every morning I wake up and feel like ass and every time I go to the doctor and they have no clue.  (Well, that does upset me, but that's different...)

On another note - I think someone(s) deserve "Asshole of the Year" awards for letting some people think their bowels could be re-sectioned and letting others think the colostomy bag was permanent.

Meh

I slept through most of yesterday.  Today I'm still really tired, my throat is sore, and I hurt.  Liberal use of ginger-honey-lemon tea and ibuprofen has done nothing.   This blows.  My hands are bothering me enough that I'm hesitant to knit or crochet, plus my brain is foggy enough that I'm not sure I want to start anything.  Humph.

Also, I'm giving serious consideration to getting a Snuggie.  I'm also considering an electric blanket for use on the couch.

On top of that, I'm having trouble settling down to read anything, which is equally annoying.  Double humph.

On that note, I think I'll be taking myself and a selection of books off to the bed.

Slow Day

I had a rheumatology appointment today.  No news, really.  They tried to access my genetic test results (all part of the same medical center) and couldn't - there was simply a note saying it was "held" and "Dr. (name changed to protect the inconsiderate) will call."  We're not sure if that means he's supposed to call the lab or call me or what.  The rheumatologists think that's weird too.  

I'm so tired of this.  And I've had it so ingrained in me over a lifetime that I'm the one who is unreasonable (even when I'm not) that second-guessing myself is taking a lot out of me. Combine that with the authority society tends to vest in doctors and this is even less fun.

I also regret not having asserted myself from the start.  I thought if I was polite (meek) and quiet and tried not to be a "problem" or "bother" anyone that everything would be fine. Clearly, that isn't necessarily the case.

I hope these sorts of posts will at least help other people who are in situations similar to mine or help them avoid these sorts of situations all together.

Today's (and possibly the week's) theme

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Yeah.  Don't know if it's the weather (there's a freakin' blizzard, never mind that it's April) or my body deciding to mess with me again/still/more.  Either way, I've been in gradually increasing pain and stiffness most of the day, including parts that haven't hurt in months.  And I haven't been particularly or unusually active, so that's not it.  I think I'll be slathering myself in BenGay before bed.  Oooh, the romance...  

On the bright side, I found a nice re-fillable day-planner thing today to use instead of my increasingly ratty and not very durable 5x7 spiral notebooks.  

I got some paint and sculpey to play with to make amigurumi accessories (I have yet to make said amigurumi, but we'll get to that).

And I ate an almost-pint of coffee ice-cream from the container.  

I wonder if I can turn menthol-scented crocheted items into a niche market?