Ozzy, Bitches: New Item for the Time Travel To Do Iist

Image via WikipediaI haven't added anything to the time-machine to-do list in some time, but a discussion of the poem Ozymandias on Twitter today inspired me.   Along with someone wondering if a nickname for Ozymandias is "Ozzy" and thus also wondering if he bit the heads off of bats, I confessed that whenever I hear the lines:

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

I add the word "bitches" to the end.  Now, while Shelley was probably too much of a whiny emo-kid to have made the poem that much more epic I'm pretty sure Ramses II (aka Ozymandias) would have been all about that.

1.  If someone invents a time machine and I go back to ancient Egypt, scribes better watch out. I will be pimp-slapping every last one of those bastards.
2.  Claim Europe.
3.  Print this out and take a copy to Charles Darwin.  For the lulz.
4.  Find the Trolololo guy and kill him.
5.  Take photos of Akhenaten and his extended family.  And blood samples.  And possibly penis measurements (that's totally getting farmed out to some grad student I hate).
6.  Convince Percy "Emo" Shelley that his poem will be much better as

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair, bitches!"