Oreo Report Card of the Day - EE

Image by shoveling_ferret via Flickr

Slavering hell-hound of badness

For "Exceeds Expectations."  In badness.

We just went for our evening walk.  Oreo, because he is a punkass, likes to do his pooping on the triangle of grass by the curb at intersections, especially near busier streets because, I dunno, watching traffic helps or something.
Ordinarily, this isn't too much trouble for me, but today was special.  We just bought some of the doggy poop bags that come in rolls because we no longer shop frequently in places that give out plastic shopping bags that are easily converted to poop bags. 

Today was the first day I had tried using them.

So, there I am, dog leash held tightly in one hand, cane sort of balanced against my body, trying to get the freakin' bag to open so I can pick up poop.
And then a bus drives by.

Apparently, Oreo's entire family was killed by ninja buses or something because damn does that little dog go bug nuts when he sees and hears a bus.  He makes an exception for buses that have stopped, though, especially if the doors are open at which point he tries to get on the bus.  Sigh.

So, trying to keep balance, keep dog from running into street, balance cane, and get stupid plastic baggy open.

Then 3 kids wander by all "oh, he's so cute!"  And Oreo, attention whore that he is, is all like "I must greet my adoring fans!" And starts yanking in the other direction. 

And right behind the kids is their dad.  With a Basset Hound.

Oreo immeadiately goes from "aren't I the cutest, specialist, most pwecious doggy ever?" to "ZOMG I will KILL YOU!!!!!!  Growly-barky-snarl!"

Still can't get the bag open.

Dude with Basset Hound is like "is he friendly?"  I stopped fiddling with the bag and damn near let my can fall over staring at him for a minute before I managed to get out "um, not so much."

So, perfectly nice Basset Hound and family go away.  Oreo continues barking and lunging in all directions because I dunno why.

I finally get the bag open and pick up his poop and throw it out. 

He was actually fairly well behaved for the rest of his walk, but I think that's because he realized what a little shit he'd been.  He's now snuggled on my lap.  Only because I wanted a lap warmer, though.