5.09.2009

Wow, just when I thought I couldn't possibly think less of him

Lance Armstrong says Sheryl Crow's biological clock doomed their romance -- chicagotribune.com

What an enormous douche.  Don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate him for not wanting to get married right away and start popping out kids.  I have no problem with that.  It's that he feels the need to publicize their problems in that way.  And this quote:

"Because if somebody wants a child -- man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman -- so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue."

Really, Lance?  A baby is the greatest gift you can give a woman.  Greater than respect?  Love?  Affection?  Kindness?Cookies?  Viable sperm is the greatest gift?  Well crap, I guess I'm going to have to start collecting sperm to give as gifts.

"What's that, Mom?  What's with the test-tube and the turkey baster you gave me last Xmas?  Well, you see, a baby is the greatest gift you can give a woman.  Since human trafficking is illegal, I thought I'd give you the um, means.  No...no, it's not your son in law's, that would be weird.  I bought if off some bum on the corner...  Yes...yes that is horrifically disgusting, Mom, but, you know, Lance Armstrong is a freakin' hero and a great American and crap, so...  Yeah, Mom, I won't do that again."

Also, this means my husband is going to get off waaay to easily in the gift department.  Damn you, Lance Armstrong.

2 comments:

llamalluv said...

For a guy with only one testicle, he's pretty ballsy.

Shoveling Ferret said...

Nice!