Oh the places you'll go

Wow have I slacked off. Ahem.
I'm writing this on the second leg of a flight out to Las Vegas. My dad has cancer. Stage 4. I am now in this weird place of child/adult trying to puzzle out what to do, how to push, etc.
We've known for a bit, but this is the first I'll see him since the diagnosis and treatment.

I am afraid to get off the plane. That will make it all real.

Seriously, people, any mojo you can send to help me keep it together with some kind of grace for all of us will be deeply appreciated.

My half brother and his wife have been trying to help out, but my parents are weird and insular and stubborn. I'm sure those of you who know me will find that shocking. My brother and sister in law are wonderful, though and I'm so glad they live in Vegas close to our parents.

Tom will be joining us this weekend. Oreo and Bunny will stay with his parents. I'll be very glad to see him. Hauling the doggies out with us was just...no. O,o I think Dad would like Bunny. She's quiet and very snuggly. Then again he says she has a stripper name.

On a lighter note, I have (assuming I pass training) a job as an online adjunct. Trying to keep names out of it for a variety if reasons. But training has been great, the school is very supportive and friendly. Also, as it's online, it's a very portable job. And will possibly be less strain on me than in person courses, especially those I have to develop entirely on my own. I'm still planning on teaching in person, but it seems like the online gig will be more regular.
Part of training involves doing a live chat with PowerPoint. The title of this post comes from the title of a slide showing a squat toilet.

Not enough room

...to expand on her badassness
Justine Petronzi Obituary: View Justine Petronzi's Obituary by Reno Gazette-Journal

Gratitude

Thank you, everyone for all your kind thoughts and messages over the past few days. Schedules being all muddled, I will be going out for the funeral by myself.

Tom and Oreo will be on their own!

I'll be leaving here on Wednesday morning, flying to Las Vegas, and then riding up to Reno for the funeral on Friday, staying to visit for a bit and then coming home on Tuesday.

Thank goodness for my Kindle, smartphone, and plastic crochet hooks - I should have plenty of entertainment in very little luggage.

I think Nana's fabulous shopping spirit was with me yesterday - I needed to find a dress for the service and a new winter coat and managed to find both and some luggage that still rolls and isn't full of archaeological dirt. My new coat is bright pink - one of Nana's favorites.

Today I'm recovering from throwing up most of last night - I think I had a super-migraine-of-super-suckitude. Nausea is pretty typical for me, but not full-on projective vomiting. :( Hopefully this was just an unholy combination of stress, weather, and allergies and will not become a trend given how little good most meds do for me.

Fun fact: sitting on a folding stool in front of the toilet instead of kneeling is a lot friendlier to knees. Also, really glad we have two bathrooms now as Tom's parents were visiting this weekend...

I'm feeling a bit better now, sipping flat ginger ale and chicken broth and eating crackers. Oreo is very pleased about the crackers. Poor Tom has a cold, but is still taking very good care of me.

In Memorial

My Nana, who had been living with esophageal cancer for a little over a year passed away this morning. She was at home, where she wanted to be, and it was quiet and peaceful.

She was a very tough lady and I'm proud to have been named after her. She was up and about until late last week.

My uncle has been living with her since my Papa passed away and has been her primary caretaker the last few years for which we are all very grateful.

Eight

I am no longer any where near that thin, but whatever.  :P

We are still super cute.  And I got a pretty magenta-purply African violet and a holographic flower-growing card.

Tom got 8 knitted pimento-stuffed olives in a jar (Olive You) and a card with the same pun that I found completely by accident after I'd already started knitting the olives.

I need to get a photo...

Nevada Trip - Up North

Logan Shoals view of Lake Tahoe

It's been a hectic few weeks for us, so I didn't get these posted as soon as I had hoped.

Super Tom looks down upon us mere mortals

I think I need to grab a few from Tom too that he took with his iPhone.
So, we mostly went up to Reno to visit with my Nana who has esophageal cancer.
She is doing very well, considering.
We also took a day to drive up to Lake Tahoe where we got married at Logan Shoals Vista Point.
It was a beautiful fall day.
The Vista Point has had some improvements since we were there 7 years ago.
It also, however, sees the occasional crack-pipe.  To be fair, the crack smoker had hidden in in the crack (heh) between some rocks and I knocked it out with my cane because I wanted to see what it was.
I love Lake Tahoe.  If we could live there it would be awesome.  The air smelled wonderful.  It was quiet.  Ahhhh.
Reno is still very nice too, I think. 
To mark the occasion, I bought my very first fancy-pants yarn from a yarn store.  Some Noro in colors that sort of reminded me of the lake and surroundings.  I have vague plans of a shawl for me.

We also went to one of the streams and caught salmon spawning season, which neither of us had ever seen.  It was pretty amazing.  And I spent entirely too much time trying and failing to get photos of feathery duck booties when they dived for food.

So beautiful.

Look boys and girls, a crack pipe!

This is a weasel, not a ferret or even an otter but I took a photo anyway.

Ducks!  And dying salmon.

Salmon dying after spawning.  I thought of Chip, who by now had probably forgotten that highlight of his campus tour

More ducks!

The stream the salmon were swimming up.

We went and had a picnic on the beach and we took a photo of that random tug-boat on wheels thingie.

In Memory

My Uncle Bill passed early this morning.

He had been unwell in recent years and less able to be as active as he liked.

He was one of my dad's older brothers. He served as a Marine in the Pacific in WWII and was wounded in action. He was a pilot, a rancher, a casino operator, owned and ran a small bar/casino and some gas stations. And he was a very nice man. I wish we'd had more time, especially as I got into adulthood.

He and another brother also apparently attempted to string up my dad at some point when they were just home from the war. Because apparently that's what baby brothers are for.

He and my aunt were very active until recently - walking at least a mile a day with their dogs and he'd reactivated his pilots license a few years ago when the FAA lifted some of the age restrictions.

Funeral arrangements are still being made.  Mom said not to worry about trying to make it back out to Nevada so soon.  Dad is supposedly taking it well, but he's also very old-school cowboy.  

Safely Arrived

Yesterday was a long day, but the trip went smoothly, so that was awesome.  The American Airlines people were very nice - the staff in Dallas even  changed our seats for us to give me more legroom and less distance to walk.  And got me a wheelchair for the jetway because it was a really long-ass jet-way.
Oreo was a good boy, as usual.

Peeking out of the carrier

Tasty fried chicken from the comfort of my wheelchair

Doing some crochet waiting for our connection in Dallas.

If you look closely you can see both the silver in my hair AND the stupid cystic pimples on my jawline.

Our flightpath into Vegas brought us right over Hoover Dam, which was beautiful light up in the dark.  I could just make out the silhouette of the new bridge against the lights shining up the face of the damn.

We slept in as best we could today, though Mom and Dad's younger schnauzer, Lily, is a punk and keeps starting stuff with Oreo.  And Oreo gives it right back.  Meanwhile, the older schnauzer (who is actually the same age as Oreo) Oliver just sort of patiently watches them be stupid and is a model sweetheart. 

We got to see my brother and his wife and my nephew today for dinner.  I'm tired and feeling a bit stiff and my joints are aching, but hopefully that will ease up soon.

It's overcast and smells of rain outside tonight - beautiful.  I miss the desert.

View from the backyard

Blog-cation

Image by Getty Images via @daylifeTom and Oreo and I are heading out to visit my family in Nevada.  Wooo!  I love air travel so much (/sarcasm)!
Anyway, I'm not sure what or when or if I'll blog while I'm actually gone, but hopefully I will have hilarity and photos to share when we get back home if not before.  At the moment, I've got my bed covered in clothes I am likely to pack, along with 2 books and at some point I plan to gather up some crochet hooks and yarn and some patterns to take to keep me occupied.
I'd rather not push my luck at security with pointed sticks, especially since we'll be having enough fun with Oreo (who has to be taken out of his carrier and have his harness taken off so he doesn't set of the metal detector), me with my CPAP, and me in and out of a wheelchair to get through security.
(The Double-Stuff Oreo mascot showed up via Zemanta as a possible image to include and it was too horrifying not to share.)

Time flies and junk

Image via WikipediaI just realized it's been a week since my last post.
As expected, the NAMI walk did wear me out quite a bit. I spent most of Monday curled up in bed with Oreo and a book and even had a midday nap.
Tuesday was physical therapy which was harder than usual for me (still tired). And the trigger point injections were wearing off by then. My therapist was trying to do some range of motion and traction stuff with my neck and I just could not relax. The constant tension is a big issue for me in terms of posture and pain and migraine.
I forgot to mention last week that I had a chance to try out a recumbent tricycle last Saturday.  It was absolutely amazing.  I had a regular bicycle several years ago with the idea of using it to commute to campus.  I didn't want to admit it at the time, but I was afraid every time I rode it.  I didn't feel balanced or secure and I really wasn't comfortable turning and moving to look behind me.  So I quit riding for some time.  I thought maybe it was more the bike than me, so in 2008 Tom got a beautiful vintage Schwinn from a friend and we put rearview mirrors and wire panniers on it.  I rode it twice, terrified both times that I was falling/going to fall.  By the end of the second ride I was also in pain and exhausted.  We eventually sold it.  I occasionally look back on it with wistful regret - I love the sensation of riding, I was really hoping to get into touring (Dervla Murphy is a hero of mine) and riding used to be fun.
When I started physical therapy again, my therapist started having me warm up using their recumbent exercise bike. And it dawned on me that a recumbent bike or even better a trike might be something I could try to start riding again.
There was a sports fair nearby last weekend and a local bike store that sells adaptive bicycles had several bikes out. I tried an upright trike and it was okay, but not wonderful. I did feel much, much safer and more confident though. Then I tried the recumbent. It was amazing! Pedaling felt super efficient and wonderful and stretchy. My arms and hands were in a neutral position so there was no pain or tingling or numbness. I felt absolutely secure and far more confident of my ability to steer and be aware of things around me because I wasn't devoting so much attention to not falling or being afraid of falling. It felt a little like being in a go-cart. The only major problem was how low to the ground it was - which made it a challenge for me to get in and out of and made it a bit less visible. Nevertheless, I really fell in love with it. And there are models that are elevated a bit more to roughly the same eye level as a passenger car.
Unfortunately, they're fairly expensive, especially on our budget. But we're hoping to save up and maybe find something used or eventually squirrel away enough money. We're also hoping to go out to the bike shop one day to see if we can arrange a longer trail-ride for me to get a better idea of how I like it for longer than the 1/4 block or so I could ride at the sports fair.
I'm also planning on getting a pedal exerciser to work with while I'm on the couch or floor to build up some stamina in my legs and get some good stretching in.
In other news, the ArtFire opt-in drive got enough subscribers, including me, which means I will have an ArtFire Pro account for $5.95/month. I opt-ed in as a sort of "if it works, then I'll really buckle down and open shop." And it did. So, come November I hope to have at least a little something up and running. October is going to be entirely too busy for me to do it then - we're going to see my parents and my grandmother.
And, in less happy news, my Nana has esophageal cancer. She fortunately is not in any pain, but she is still having trouble eating despite having a stent put in to help expand the esophagus. Given her age and relative health she and her doctors have decided to forgo treatment and let nature take its course. I support her fully in this decision, and totally understand her desire to be as comfortable as possible in the time remaining rather than go through chemo or radiation and the side-effects related to them. It does mean, though, that it is just a matter of time until we say goodbye. I am, though, very grateful to have a bit of warning and the chance to prepare and say goodbye. I've been trying to talk to her at least once a week and she sounds fairly good. And, like I said, Tom and I are going to visit her mid-way through our trip out to see my parents.

Update on the Nana

I just got off the phone with my Nana.  She sounds really good, so I am much relieved.  Apparently she was having trouble swallowing anything without a whole lot of pain.  Her doctor was right on top of things though and even gave her his cell phone number (yay, good doctors!) and she's improved a great deal.
She said she's still being careful taking small bites and chewing a lot, but she is able to eat.  Yay!

She's been drinking Boost, which is one of those nutrition beverages like Ensure.  Only one a day - half in the morning and half in the afternoon.  I told her to be sure not to hit it too hard or anything, which made her laugh.  :P  I think I may tell Mom to take her the tackiest shot glass she can buy in the Vegas airport.

So, good news for the hard-core 87 year old!  Thanks for all the good wishes, everyone!

Good Thoughts, Please

I debated about posting about this, wondering if it was too personal and then reminded myself that I post about rashes and medical tests and symptoms all the damn time, so, really, I'm probably in the clear.  Not to mention, we're all about some random up in here.

My much beloved Nana, who is also my only living grandparent, is apparently not doing very well.  Something is going on with her swallowing and she dropped quite a bit of weight recently.  She did go to the doctor and was treated in office with success and is now home.  (All this is via my parents, who also didn't get a ton of details - you know how it can be.)  I tried calling this evening, but no answer so I'll try again later tonight or tomorrow.  My Mom was already planning a visit for next weekend, so that will also get us some more information.

My Nana is a remarkably tough lady and in her mid-80s and we share a first name along with a few other characteristics - most of them involving smallness and feistiness and stubbornness and an abiding fondness for my husband (seriously, she has some major love for the Tom) and feeding pasta to Oreo. She's the child of Irish immigrants who married the child of Italian immigrants (that went over well) and learned Italian and a whole new style of cooking to do so.  She went to every Big Band show and swing dance she could during WWII.  She kept her house in an intimidating level of cleanliness and orderliness and worked as a dealer in a casino and raised three kids all at the same time.  She is hilarious.  She still smokes (extra longs, because they're more ladylike) and has no intention of quitting (sigh).  She only recently quit driving, which is probably good for all concerned, because she scared the crap out of me driving me around when I was a kid  (seriously, I think her driving is what kept me from freaking out in cabs in Egypt and Sudan).  Her house is still frighteningly clean and orderly.  I'd appreciate it if people would keep her in their thoughts if they're so inclined. 
I'm not sure if I/we can make it out to visit any time soon, but I'm investigating ways and means.

Nana at our wedding in 2003, rocking some pink jewelry

Seven Years Ago Today

Tom and I got married. It was an adventure. Continues to be one, really. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

Last two photos were taken during our first season in Sudan by one of our team-mates.  One at the end of a fairly windy day (sunscreen plus wind plus facing into the dirt = messy) and the other sitting on the bank of the Nile just before going for a quick swim.

Also, the finest ass in Buhen Temple.  And a very tasteful picture of it at that.

Zafu Pinning and When Did I Start Getting Old

Today I finally got around to working on the zafu some more. After careful deliberation, I pretty much decided that the numbers and weirdness from the PDF pattern I had were worthless and decided to mostly wing it. Today I tried to start pinning the circles to the pleated sidewall bit. And broke my brain.
So, I started whimpering online. But, Alwen came to the rescue! Yay! I've got at least one of the damned circles pinned. I had to take a break as my back decided to start being all "Biznatch, I *know* you aren't going to make me stand up or sit and work after days of that stupid video game and walking." So, I made a cup of tea and settled back on the couch with heating pad after taking pictures of the pinned zafu and then loosing the camera and wandering around the apartment looking for it like a fool.


And then my Mom called from my nephew's graduation party. Who let him turn 18? He's joining the Army! And he sounds *just like my Dad*! Plus, he's huge - entirely too big to be taken down with a well-aimed cane swipe. What is this?!? I'm not grown up! Who let him be!?!


Anyway, pinning the zafu drove home an important point. A lot of things start to make a lot more sense once you actually start doing them than they do when you're staring at them and then at directions trying to make sense of them. It also drove home the important point that without the internet I would probably be in a corner covered in fabric and pins rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

And on a side note - that damn flying bird game on Wii Fit Plus can suck gangrenous donkey balls. And that stupid thing is going to say I'm 40 until I actually *am* 40. And my hips and back and shoulders hurt. Stupid freakin' being healthy...

Road Trip!

Last week we headed down to Mississippi for the first time in about 2 years so we could visit Tom's family and so he could defend his thesis and get his MA in Applied Anthropology and I could go visit some old professors of ours at Mississippi State.  I wasn't sure how well I would handle an extended car ride (it's roughly 10 hours) but I managed reasonably well, especially since my neurologist prescribed some low dose clonazapam for me to try out for when my back is being particularly stupid.  Pretty much the only bad part was discovering that I get a migraine when I'm in our car for more than about an hour even if I'm not driving.  Not sure if it's our car or something else, but that's rampant speculation for another time.  Taking something doesn't seem to do much for prevention either, it just keeps it from getting totally unbearable.

I just realized it looks like Tom has his eyes closed.  That might explain a few things.

The position of the price tag on this bag of Chex mix suggests the ultimate results of consumption.

Oreo's head got in the way when my hand jerked, so here's the blurry photo of his head.

The giant cross of aluminum siding outside Effingham.  Because nothing says devout like building a huge aluminum cross in the middle of Illinois that will startle road-dazed drivers.

I pretty much forgot about the camera for most of the rest of the trip.  Tom did get some excellent photos of a few projects I finished though, so I'll post those in the next few days.

Tom successfully defended.  Yay!  He just has to do some final edits and formatting and that good stuff.  So, now we're even on the graduate degree front. 

Oreo is still recovering from the trip - I think he was terrified we were going to leave him with my in-laws because that's where he stayed the last time we were in Sudan for 2 months.  He was definitely freaking out when we starting packing up to come home all the way up the point we actually put him in the car.  Poor little dude.  He's an excellent little traveler, though.  And I like having a warm snuggly on my lap for the trip, at least until he squirms too much and steps on my internal organs. 

Oh, and Tom briefly transformed into a douchebag while we were in Mississippi. 

All he needs is a flask of Maker's Mark, business cards for his lawyer/politician/lobbyist/upper management dad, and a Confederate flag and he'd be all ready for Pledge Week at Ole Miss.
I deeply and sincerely hope to never, ever again see my husband with

1. A popped collar
2. Any item of Ole Miss memorabilia
3. This facial expression