5.01.2009

I find my lack of superpowers disturbing

Right, so I had the marathon MRI today - spine and brain with and without contrast.  While I've had both done before, I've never had both at the same time.  They scheduled a 3 hour block for this all to happen.
As I've mentioned before, needles and I are not friends.  I can deal with giving blood samples and simple injections.  The first attempt at the brain MRI, however, when they put the IV in, was something of a disaster.  I sat in the chair, the nurse put the IV in, I said, "hmmm, I feel a bit light-headed..."  The next thing I remember, the nurse was pounding on my chest, some newly minted young (-er than me) MD was saying "Mrs.  Ferret?  Mrs.  Ferret?  Are you okay?  Can you tell us what's wrong?"  I mumbled something that was not "Who the f&%# are you and why are you quadruplets?"  and then finally managed to mumble "I think I passed out (genius)."  The poor nurse, while clearly in command of the situation, was rather flustered.  I kept asking for my husband and apologizing for passing out.  Then I started to feel nauseous.  I mentioned this.  Strangely, no basins were to be found.  People scattered in all directions in search of basins.  Three people came back with about 10 basins between them about 10 seconds after I barfed all over myself.  Fabulous.
Then we had an inquiry regarding whether I had epilepsy.  Don't think so.  Had I wet myself?  Dunno, can't tell now as I just barfed all over my lap.  So, they laid me on a table, went and got my husband (who was a trooper) and then tried to convince me to go ahead with the MRI.  I managed to get all the way down the hall to just outside the suite before I finally said "no, not today, reschedule."  The MRI tech who came to take out the IV cannula was a real dick about it, and as he would have been my tech, I feel comfortable with my decision, however much it might have inconvenienced Mr. Diamond-Stud-Wearing, Douchy-Goatee-Having-Tech-Guy

So, two weeks later I went back and had the MRI.  My husband had to deal with two weeks of me whining about not wanting to go.  He tried to convince me that maybe I would get lucky and the MRI would give me superpowers like Magneto (thus the title of this post).  This time, I laid down for the IV insertion and, while I was a truly ghastly shade of white even after the scan was finished, I made it through.  I had the spine MRI a few months later and it was fine - again, laying down for the IV and I didn't even look like I'd been attacked by a vampire.  

So, this time, while a bit nervous, I wasn't too bothered.  However, when I got to the nurses station after changing into my gown, the table/cot area was occupied.  The nurse said she thought she could get the IV in without me passing out, so I figured what the hell.  In the past, I might have been worried about the possibility that she'd be doing chest compressions, yelling for help, and possibly cleaning up barf in a few minutes, but now I mostly figure if that happens, it's not like I didn't warn her.  Fortunately, she was right - she kept me talking and distracted and I didn't keel over - there was celebratory ferret-dancing.
Then they got me in to the MRI suite - there was a brief moment of concern when I thought I might be stuck with Mr. Diamond-Stud-Wearing, Douchy-Goatee-Having-Tech-Guy, but he was busy being a smarmy git with someone else and I got a really nice lady who kept offering me juice and cookies at breaks.  So, we did the brain without contrast first.  Piece of cake.  Then I had to get up while she switched out tables for the spine without contrast.  A little less comfortable and by the time we were done, my face was pink enough that my tech ran to get a cool washcloth for my face - apparently people frequently get a bit warm during the spine scans.  I laid there during both of these thinking about crocheting and knitting and cloth stamping and mentally designed the feathered fascinator thingie I'm planning to wear for a special event.  And occasionally pretended I was in a Jeffries Tube, until I realized that the tech might well call for a psych eval if I started yelling, "She cannae take anymore, Cap'n!"
Then, contrast injection.  I didn't even feel the weird flushing thing this time.  I did get really warm though.  And my arms started to cramp like crazy - probably because I was trying so hard to hold still since stillness = less time in the noisy tube.  And my nose started to itch.  During one of the 10 minute long scans.  That was freakin' torture.  So for that one, I was mostly thinking "Damn, my arms hurt!  Dude, my nose, my nose, my nose.  Ahhh, my arms, ahhhhhhh.  No, don't you say two more passes!  You said 'two more passes' three passes ago!"
Then I had to switch tables back to the brain table for brain scan with contrast.  When I sat up something warm and wet ran down my arm.  Panic!  And started dripping onto the sheet and my gown.  Bigger panic!  Then I realized that while whatever was dripping was red, it was diluted.  The cannula had come loose and the saline and little bit of blood was dripping.  So, I mentioned I was dripping to the tech and she pulled the cannula and all was well.
Still no superpowers though, unless being gimpy and snarky are now superpowers.
I did get to go wander around a Michael's crafts and found some yarn I to make a gift for my parents' anniversary in June (30 years!).  I didn't find the lino blocks I was sort of looking for, but no big worries.  We did a bit of other shopping too, and I probably over did it a bit today, since I'm now extra wobbly and achy, but no big deal.  And I managed to drop my cane into a mud puddle in the parking lot at home, which made the handle pretty freakin' disgusting.
Now we just have to wait for results...

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