Even the Romans Went Antiquing

Antinous as Osiris, wearing the nemes and the uraeus; the nose, mouth, left part of the face and major part of the bust are modern restorations. From the villa of Hadrian in Tivoli. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The villa's recreation of Canopus, a resort near Alexandria, as seen from the temple of Serapis (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Exhibit one - Hadrian's Villa.
(Actually, exhibit the only, because I'm exhausted and the stupid Topamax is making me stupider

Does anyone else find this Egyptian-style statue oddly posed? It's of Antinous, Hadrian's companion and probable lover.

Anyway, in addition to having Egyptian style stuff commissioned, Hadrian, one of the few Roman emperors to bother actually visiting Egypt, brought some stuff home with him.

This beautiful head of a female sphinx is said to have come from Hadrian's villa.

Head from a Female Sphinx. Found in Italy, said to have been in the ruins of Emperor Hadrian's villa at Tivoli, outside Rome; originally from Egypt, probably Heliopolis. Middle Kingdom, Dynasty 12, reign of Amunemhat II, circa 1876–1842 B.C.E. Chlorite, 15 5/16 x 13 1/8 x 13 15/16 in. (38.9 x 33.3 x 35.4 cm). Brooklyn Museum, Charles Edwin Wilbour Fund, 56.85 http://www.brooklynmuseum.org/exhibitions/egypt_reborn/female_sphinx.php 

In addition to the lovely head of the sphinx, there is this impressive naophorous statue of the Late Period. Naophorous just means a statue holding a shrine - typically a shrine that has another statue in it. Very meta. These become fairly common in the Late Period.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art - Naophorous Block Statue of a Governor of Sais, Psamtik(seneb) 

Inappropriate LOL skeleton of the day

'Sup, man. Just chilling with my bro.  Been waiting, like, millennia for my Corona, dude.

Source: Photos: Human Sacrifices Found at Ancient China Complex

Thanks to Julie for pointing out this article which led me to the skeleton article.

Dear Pope Palpatine

new Pope Palpatine (Photo credit: Alx)

Warning: Probably more exruciatingly offensive than usual
Sister Simone Campbell: Vatican Reprimand 'Like A Sock In The Stomach' : The Two-Way : NPR

Dear Pope Palpatine:
That stupid shit right up there in the link is why you are currently hemorrhaging female members of the church faster than a botched back-alley abortion.
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you people? You have climbed into bed with some of the worst hate-mongering asshats on the planet. People who used to and often still do think Catholics are the enemy right up there with Mooslims and Joooooooos (boogedy). Jack Chick, anyone?
Quit it.
I was never confirmed and haven't set foot in a church for anything but someone else's service since adulthood because of this kind of crap.
I am not a second-class human because I'm a woman. Gay people are not evil. Other views are not an automatic threat.
Grow the fuck up.

Ten-Toed Couch Sloth

The Topamax experiment continues. The last dosage increase is tomorrow. Still having migraines, but I'm supposed to give it six weeks.

I really, really hope the sleepies go away. This is ridiculous. If I stop moving I fall asleep. I curled up on the couch to read this evening, Oreo came to snuggle up and be a book rest and tummy warmer. Next thing I knew it was 8:30, Tom was napping in bed, Oreo was crying for dinner and my hand was asleep.

Topamax also causes vivid dreams. I've been dreaming about managing underfunded National Park or National Forest visitor centers with my former graduate advisor. The one who went kind of crazy. Yeah. He's nice in the dreams at least.

Anyway, this makes it difficult to work on things that involve reading because I get drowsy so quickly. Grumble. I have academic library access again, but if I pass out every time I try to read that might get to be a bit useless.

Better news: Tom found my Flowbee!!!  I cut my hair today. I like cutting it myself. I think it turns out pretty awesome. Yay!

Batman in Ancient Egypt or Menkaure Was the God-Damned Batman

It is seriously nipply in here, people!

Who wants to co-author the paper with me?
Provisional Titles:

Nipples and Fecundity in the Old Kingdom
Joel Schumacher, Batman, Egyptian Art, and Nipples
Yes, I Totally Convinced Someone to Publish This Drivel Because Someone Backed out at the Last Minute
Dude, Seriously, Menkaure is the God-damn Batman
This Topic Is No Less Weird Than What David O'Connor Has Been Publishing and Lecturing Lately

Obviously the nemes headdress is an early version of the bat-cowl. And, um, stuff.

Still taking the Topamax. As if you didn't know that.

Nerdgasm

Taken 2/29/12 in the Oval Office - Live Long & Prosper!:

I award you 1 million snark points

Update: I think I fixed the awful, unreadable color problem

In honor of 1982 invasion of the Falkland Islands I give you the following fine example of British sarcasm in a military setting:

At 4.30pm on 2 April, the Governor's telex operator had this conversation with a Ministry of Defence operative in London, announcing that the islands were under Argentine control.^[39]

LON (London): HELLO THERE WHAT ARE ALL THESE RUMOURS WE HEAR THIS IS LON
FK (Falklands): WE HAVE LOTS OF NEW FRIENDS
LON: WHAT ABOUT INVASION RUMOURS
FK: THOSE ARE THE FRIENDS I WAS MEANING
LON: THEY HAVE LANDED
FK: ABSOLUTELY
LON: ARE YOU OPEN FOR TRAFFIC IE NORMAL TELEX SERVICE
FK: NO ORDERS ON THAT YET ONE MUST OBEY ORDERS
LON: WHOSE ORDERS
FK: THE NEW GOVERNORS
LON: ARGENTINA
FK: YES
LON: ARE THE ARGENTINIANS IN CONTROL
FK: YES YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THOUSANDS OF TROOPS PLUS ENORMOUS NAVY SUPPORT WHEN YOU ARE ONLY 1600 STRONG. STAND BY. (Source)

Hey guys, what's up?
There are dudes here with guns.
So what about those crazy Argentinians?
Those are the dudes with the guns, dumbass.

The Faulkland TELEX operator could not possibly give less of a shit. What are they going to do? Arrest him?

Does anyone else imagine how this would have turned out on Twitter? Also, why didn't Margaret Thatcher just frighten the Argentineans away with her scary, scary, scariness?

I've Uncovered the Secret of Ancient Egyptian Medicine

Consider the following scenario:
Ancient Egyptian Peasant: Dude, my eye hurts like Set's asshole!
Other Ancient Egyptian Peasant: Don't you mean like Horus's eye? That Set poked out. That we draw on everything. And that will rank in the top 10 unoriginal tattoos.
Peasant 1: Shut up, asshole sounds funnier.
Peasant 2: whatevs
Priest/Healer: hey, your eye hurts? I can fix that! Let me smear some of this on it.
Peasant 1: Um, is that poop?
Priest: No! Don't be ridiculous! It's poop and mucous and some straw.
Peasant 1: Hey, what do you know? My eye is totally better! I need to, um, go do some stonecarving. Bye!

Yep.

Bittersweet

My birthday is tomorrow and I just realized it will be the first time in my life my Nana won't sing Happy Birthday for me.
But it does make me smile remembering all the times she did.

In other news, I hate mosquitoes. And the Topamax has not yet made me a total wreck. My arthritis is flaring up like whoa though. I have sausage fingers and a swollen knee. Grumble.

Whoa have I been slacking off

Topiramate (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Between teaching (which sucks a lot of prep time as I do a lot of slides) and having a cold or a flare or both I have not been blogging with anything like normal regularity.

Latest news: I am teaching in the summer and probably next fall. Sweet! Both are things I've never taught before, but, um, yeah.

I finally got in to see a neurologist here. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a pin-striped suit, which made me do confused head-tilt, but he seems competent and is probably not a mobster, so we're cool. I am trying Topamax to prevent migraines.
I'm a little nervous - the side-effects do not sound fun, but willing to try it out. Everyone cross your fingers I don't turn into a suicidal zombie, which seems to be the most scary possibility.
I have enough trouble with brain fog as it is...

Ummm, what else?

I had to drive far-ish (for me) for the neurology appointment yesterday. I discovered (re-discovered?) that driving makes me question the size of other drivers' penises when they do stupid things. Or are in sports cars. Or it's Tuesday.

Oreo and I have been sitting on the patio for a while every day. He likes soaking up the sun and having a leisurely sniff-survey. I have to be  really careful to avoid sun rash/burn between my autoimmune disease and the meds to treat it (because making photosensitive people MORE photosensitive is AWESOME!!!), but I do like sitting out or at least having the door open for a lot of the day.

My birthday is coming up and I'm hoping to get the hat linked below and some sun gloves and sleeves so I can be outside more during the day.
Sundancer UV Protective Hat

Archaeology that makes me squee!!!

Today my class took a test the first half of class, so I did some reading to prep questions about the other textbook I assigned: Daily Life in Ancient Egypt
This resulted in the following gems:

The Metropolitan Museum of Art - Feeding Cup
Why, yes, that is an ancient baby sippy-cup. And it is awesome.

The other thing was this:

...white dogs with large black spots make a regular appearance in Middle Kingdom tombs as pets, and even as guardian deities...

Yup, totally a guardian deity.

Duuuude

Source, minus my artistic additions.

What What

In my butt!
UTI didn't go away, probably hit my kidneys. Sunday and Monday were super fun days of fever, horrible shuddering chills, horrific back pain, and nausea and vomiting. Bad enough I cancelled class.
So, Tom took me to Urgent Care Monday evening and I got a shot of antibiotics in the ass, some Cipro, which is what I should have gotten in the first place (and which I will bitchily insist on in the future) and some anti-nausea meds that I've been taking cautiously because they might interact in scary ways with other meds I cannot skip.

And I swear every time I get Cipro they've added new and frightening warnings to the patient information. Which sucks, but it works so whatever.

Also, in the middle of that I agreed to teach Cultural Anthropology this summer. I have no idea. Should be entertaining for someone.

Feeling much improved today but still very very tired.

Also, LOLARCHAEOLOGY

I believe I will go nap now.

If Only I Had Tenure

I would actually use this slide.

It's Min, by the way, from Coptos.
And he is totally all about the penis.

Still Alive. Mostly.

Image via Wikipedia

My class is tiny. Tiny enough to be sort of weird. But at least it didn't get cancelled.

I've been freaking out the last 2 weeks pulling lectures together for topics I didn't cover that much with the old textbooks. This week is a little easier aside from the complication that is a UTI. It feels like someone is stabbing me in the left  kidney. Super fun. Trying to get a doctor to give me better antibiotics.

This week I'm just refining existing lecture and presentation. I had to firmly resist putting "OM NOM NOM" on this photo.

But that is totally what the lion is saying. It's in the missing piece of the palette. I swear it is. Just like the reconstructed stuff on this thing.

Planet of the Spray Tan

Watching "The Apple" at the moment.

Also known as:
"Look at these freaking Oompa Loompas"
"Holy crap, it's the planet of the guidos."
"Beta Carotene is all we eat"

Also, I've discovered another instance of Star Trek character or Republican?

Check it out:

Orange dipshit.

Uncannily similar orange dipshit who borrowed Biden's hair.

Someone find me a Democrat Star Trek doppleganger. I'll give you an internet pie. Or something.

The Sentimentality of Teaching

Image by shoveling_ferret via Flickr

The past few days and coming week are a time of introspection and memory for me. Tom has gone on a 10-day trip to Sudan leaving me with decidedly mixed feelings. I of course hope he has fun and is safe, but there are emotions connected with some less than pleasant memories of that last season and, I must admit, a tiny bit of jealousy that he can go and I no longer can. Adulthood is a bitch.

I'm also preparing to teach again and have been updating my syllabus and reviewing my old lecturing notes and presentations. I hadn't realized how many memories would be triggered doing this. I have found myself remembering the days in class I learned about certain topics. How difficult translating particular texts was. And in reviewing introductions to formal translations, very amused reading between the lines in discussions of why particular approaches were taken in translation.
I am happy that most of those memories are pleasant and leave me a bit wistful, but not depressed or even particularly regretful.
I am looking forward to teaching again and hoping desperately that my brain fog and fatigue and occasional aphasia won't be too much to deal with. I am optimistic in that regard.

Oreo, on the other hand, is a bit grumpy that I have several books and papers out, which means that I am not available to pay full attention to him at any moment. Poor doggy.

Course Prep

Psycho-kinetic Ancient Space Greeks Are Assholes

Image via Wikipedia

Woo, Star Trek.

At the moment, the episode Plato's Stepchildren is on. For those who are not complete nerds, this episode is best known for being one of the first interracial kisses shown on national television in the United States. Shatner got to smooch Nichelle Nichols.

As it was 1968, NBC was worried that backwards idiots might get all butt-hurt about a white guy kissing a super hot black lady. I'm guessing jealousy was a big part of that. I mean, what good, racist asshole wouldn't want to kiss William Shatner? Wait, what?

As it turns out, it doesn't seem to have been a huge deal. Maybe klan meetings were on Star Trek nights? Or no one felt like driving to LA to burn crosses?

Aside from the stupid racism, there's a huge pile of other stupid there. There are far more disturbing things than a kiss in that episode.

Shatner pretending to be a very vocal pony while being ridden by the character Alexander ranks much, much higher in the "holy shit, I am actively uncomfortable watching this" category.

Also, very short tunics. On men. Not good.

Spock is forced to dance around Kirk's head and then be all emotional.

Also, the bitchy "Platonian" lady seems to be getting off on watching Kirk and Uhura being forced to make out.

And Majel Barrett's eye makeup is, um, yeah...

An entire society of ancient space Egyptians would have been waaaaaay cooler.

National Holiday

Today should be one, because it's Tom's birthday.

Prostrate yourselves before Tom, MASTER OF ARCHAEOLOGY!!!!