Four Years Ago Today

I was in Khartoum for the very first time.  Specifically at the museum, drooling over cool things.

Mmm, pottery

Was-sceptres and ankhs with arms so they can hold up flags

C-Group pottery

Probably a beer strainer.  Ancient beer was some funky, chunky junk.

Beautiful Kerma beaker.  We still aren't sure how they managed to achieve that silvery "ash band"

Weights for quantities of gold.  The semi-circle with the tails at either end is the hieroglyph nbw for "gold"

Bronze mirrors, probably imported from Egypt during the New Kingdom

Two colossal statues of Kushite kings

Antique graffiti

Tom's ass in a temple

Enemies of Egypt personified as bound prisoners (heads missing)

And the lesson of the day:  I should really have gone through these back in the day and captioned them more fully because I honestly can't remember for sure what some of them are or why I thought it important to take those particular shots.  Or even if I had the camera for some of them or if Tom had it. 

Anyway, the museum is awesome.  They've reconstructed several Egyptian temples that would have been flooded by the formation of Lake Nasser had they not been chopped up into manageable blocks and then moved.  Mmmm, temples.  Temples without other tourists.  Mmmmmm.

Spinning

Image via Wikipedia

It's a spindle, just not one for making yarn

I picked up my birthday spindle the other day, having abandoned it sometime around May or June because it seemed just too damn hot and humid to spin.  And then I sort of forgot about it.  Plus, I'm not very good at it.
So, I decided time to try again.  I already have Respect the Spindle: Spin Infinite Yarns with One Amazing Tool, but it wasn't quite enough for me.
Then I discovered that Interweave Press is having a sale on the companion video which is available as either a DVD or an mp4 for download.  Sweet!

I just finished watching it and am very pleased.  I especially like her point that you shouldn't regard your first few attempts as "waste" - you have to learn and there is no way you're going to be perfect immediately.

It's ridiculously cold here today, so I'm not sure I'll be spinning tonight, but hopefully I'll pick it back up in the next few days to practice at least a little bit.  

I also had the chance to look through a copy of Fearless Knitting Workbook: The Step-by-Step Guide to Knitting Confidence on Thursday after my endocrinology check-up and am definitely going to buy it, probably from KnitPicks as they're having a sale on books and I can get some inexpensive wool yarn to work with as well.

I'm also deeply tempted by the ball winder from KnitPicks as well as The Essential Guide to Color Knitting Techniques, but that particular book is available at the public library, so I'm dithering. 

And, as I mentioned, it's ridiculously cold here.  I haven't been able to feel my toes properly all day.  Brrrrrrr.  Even with a blanket, my heating pad, and Oreo I'm cold.  I only did dishes earlier because the hot water feels good through the gloves and I managed to keep my fingerless gloves on under the rubber ones. 

I'm going up in Synthroid dose, starting today.  Would be nice if that helps with fatigue but, to be honest, I'm not expecting much.  I have been warned to avoid soy products as they can apparently mess with thyroid function.  Shouldn't be too much trouble as I can do dairy so I won't have to find an alternate.  If grumpy thyroid is causing my arthritis flare, though, this should help.

My glasses are awesome.  I've had waaaaaay less neck pain and as a result fewer migraines.  I sort of wish I hadn't spent so much getting them from the optometrist, but whatever.  They are awesome.  I'm contemplating ordering some non-Rx sunglasses and maybe an extra pair of reading glasses from here. 

Less neck pain has highlighted how much my right shoulder hurts all the damn time though, so I need to nag my rheumy about that in February.  And I've started getting more honest with myself about other pain too - like pokes in the ribs (including poking myself in the ribs) or even hugs sometimes *hurt!*  even wearing a bra a lot of the time.  This is not ideal.

Seesaw

Image via WikipediaI feel as though I've been on one lately. 
My depression has reared it's ugly and unwelcome head again, which has left me weepy and distraught alternating with okay and fairly cheery the past few days.  Bleh.
And the past month has been a weird span of increased fatigue and apathy and migraines interspersed with some okay and even good moments.  Bleh, again.  And all that has meant I've been less consistent with exercise, which has all of me creakier and more painful which doesn't help matters.

The freezing cold also doesn't help.  It's a major act of willpower to take my socks and slippers off to do yoga with the Wii Fit.  Brrrrrrrr.  Add in trying to do anything too motion-intensive or that involves inverting my head when I have a migraine and blech.  Although I guess my feet would be warmer if I barfed on them.

I'm also having a bit of trouble communicating with my therapist, which is something I hope to resolve at our next appointment, first via discussion or, if necessary, requesting to see someone else.  I'm nervous about asserting myself in this context, but resolved to do it anyway.  Failing to address the issue isn't going to do anyone any favors. 
Wish me luck. 

In better news, my new reading glasses seem to be helping immensely with some of my neck pain now that I'm no longer straining forward to read.  There's still some soreness, I think from my neck and shoulders readjusting to a better position, but it's not nearly as awful and I haven't had as much neck pain with my migraines. 

I also got a new chair today to use for crafting.  I'm hoping a comfortable, supportive chair will make it easier and therefore more likely for me to go play with polymer clay and my sewing machine. 

And I bought a book holder so it's easier for me to read when my arthritis flares up in my hands.

I am sincerely hoping a recent med change will kick in soon regarding the depression and the migraines.  I hate this crap, especially feeling worthless and awful and like some sissy drama queen and then feeling awful for feeling like that, and... 
I'm still not entirely convinced drilling a hole in my head wouldn't help.   Or a knitting needle up the nose?

Logo Idea the Second

I think I like this one better.

Logo

I've been working on a proper logo for the blog and for branding when and if I ever get a shop up and running.
It's intended as a sort of leader image for the blog banner, business cards, blah, blah, etc.
Here's the current draft. 

Thoughts?  It needs a bit more clean-up where the shovel handle lines are in the way. 

Also, Inkscape makes me stabby, but I doubt I'd feel less stabby using Adobe.

Glasses

I have some.  For reading and other close-in stuff.  With light rose tint in the hope it will help reduce some of my over-lighting migraines.  Hopefully will also keep me from tilting my head forward to read, which strains my neck and contributes to migraines. 
I also seem to have sprouted mantlers.

My forehead feels all weird and tingly and so does my right eyeball, but I'm hoping that will pass soon.

Anyway, as I often do, I decided to look at stuff about eyeglasses on Wikipedia.  (You already knew I was a huge nerd.)
This led to me finding the following picture in the entry on pince-nez:

Does everyone think it looks like someone decided to deface this portrait of Francisco de Quevedo?  Or like he's wearing Groucho glasses?

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

I figured my head couldn't hurt any more...

Mudd is apparently part evil, evil chipmunk.  Via Wikipedia

Some time ago I got Star Trek:  The Animated Series from Netflix.  The DVDs, because they are so not available on streaming.  Actually, I got the most recent disk in July.  I haven't finished watching it because, well, damn are they bad.
The animation is cut-rate cheese.  And the voice-acting, despite being from the original cast, is so clearly one-take only, has my check cleared yet, that it's painful to hear.  I have the novelizations of the episodes.  I really, really wish I had just stuck with those.  The stories are actually good (some of them), but oh man, the actual shows are super bad.
(Snarkier readers will probably say that the same is true of the original series, to which I give a hearty single-finger salute.)

Anyway, tonight we watched Mudd's Passion.  The premise is that they run into their old con-artist buddy, Harry Mudd.  This time he's selling "love potion."  Taking advantage of Nurse Chapel's huge crush on Spock, Harry tricks Chapel out of her phaser.  Chapel takes the love potion and goes to touch Spock, which leads to painful awkwardness as, apparently, it takes a few minutes for the potion to work so he's all "What the hell, human, why are you touching me?"  This snaps her back to her senses, she figures out the phaser is gone and goes to kick Harry's ass.
Hijinks ensue, Harry kidnaps Chapel, the love potion kicks in and Spock starts being all emo, plus a bunch of it gets spread through the ship's ventilation system, so the ship turns into a giant rave for a while.
There's also some weird Spock-Kirk hugging (the love potion creates "strong friendship" between men or women, because apparently the future is like Iran and has no gay people).

"Thanks, Jim, it's good to have a friend like you."
"Strange, that's how I feel about you, too. My dear friend Spock."

I wonder if this is to blame for Kirk-Spock slash fiction?

Anyway, there's a monster on the planet and stuff, but they manage to rescue Harry and Chapel and the love potion wears off.  Yay.



Awesome quotes:

I wish I was a three-eyed giant poop slug.  - Tom, when the episode's monster appears

Oh my god, that was horrible.  - Me, roughly every 2 minutes.

Spock, can't you take your hands off her? -Kirk

"Captain, Doctor... I... uh, wish to report a number of strange... emotions."

That is an outstandingly stupid idea.  - Spock, apparently echoing my thoughts about watching this show.   You can actually hear this quote here.

Xmas Morning

Heeeee!

Most hilarious moment - ripping wrapping paper to see this:

I screamed "WHYYYYYY!!?!?!?" for quite some time after I stopped laughing.  It's a SodaStream, by the way, and should be super awesome.

I also got a scarf and more sock monkey jammies!  Eeee, sock monkeys!!!!

Oreo got a goose toy.  And some other stuff, but he's mostly interested in killing the goose.

And Tom got a new money clip and I got him a starter pack from the Art of Shaving.

Merry Bes-mas!

 

He even has rosy cheeks!

Best wishes and hopes of peaceful joy to everyone!

(Extra thanks to Tom for Photoshopping the image for me because I couldn't figure out how to get GIMP to do it)

The New Lara Croft Is a Dirty, Dirty Girl

The New Lara Croft Is a Dirty, Dirty Girl: "
The resemblance is striking, eh?

Lara Croft via Topless Robot

Cynical Boardgame About Archaeology : Aardvarchaeology

Image via WikipediaCynical Boardgame About Archaeology : Aardvarchaeology

From Martin Rundkvist's translation of a portion of the Swedish rule book:

The players travel as archaeologists through Europe to gather needful knowledge for their fieldwork expeditions. With the aid of assistants, the players must get hold of equipment and services for the expedition. Thus equipped, the players travel to Egypt, Crete or Mesopotamia to dig for treasure, which will garner them fame and improve their reputation in the form of Victory Points. Players who can arrange exhibitions and attend conferences will improve their reputation (Victory Points). But all of this costs time, and time of course a scarce resource. The one who plans his excavations and exhibitions best will earn the most Victory Points and win the game.

Oh yeah, we're gonna need this one. I think if one of our group of friends acquires it, I may have to live blog the game play.

The comments on the post are cracking me up too, because I am a snarky bitch. Especially:

As my husband likes to say: archaeology is just a bunch of really smart people digging in the dirt.

Apparently, he's worked with different people than we have. I said "I think there are some unnecessary adjectives there." Tom remarked that he's not sure he'd even go so far as to classify them all as "people."  (In reality, the majority of people I've worked with have been delightful, the exceptions however, have been spectacular.)

Also, I think for added verisimilitude the game really needs pointless bickering, back-stabbing, insane feuds and random nutbaggery from academic departments and funding agencies.
There needs to be weird, possibly adulterous relationship drama as well.  And crazy power trips.

Turns out I'm more twisted than anyone realized

Image via WikipediaI think I've mentioned before that I have scoliosis.  I've never really thought much of it - it was diagnosed at my college student health center when I was 18 or 19 and went in because I was having pretty horrific sciatica-type pain.  They told me it wasn't anything to really worry about and sent me on my way with some PT exercises that I did for a while and then promptly forgot about.
I've had trouble sitting up without a pillow or something for back support without pain in my lower back or burning pain in my side muscles for years and thought it was just because my muscles were weak.

It didn't really come up again until I had my first MRI and one of the douchetastic duo was all "whoa, you have scoliosis!"  and I sort of nodded and asked if it mattered.  Other than making my lumbar puncture a bit more challenging, it didn't seem to.

Back at the beginning of November, I met my new PCP (my previous PCP has switched clinic locations to somewhere harder for me to get to, so I wound up switching).  I had been having a fair bit of sciatica-like pain for months and my physical therapist suggested I ask about having some imaging done.  As it turns out, the many MRIs I've had all focused on my brain and spine as far as my thoracic vertebrae, but not really lower.  So I went and had an x-ray of my ass.

My PCP called and let me know that the radiology report noted the scoliosis and some narrowing in the spinal canal.  For the time being, keeping up with my PT and using NSAIDS and heat or cold are the best thing for it.  Fine with me.


I mentioned it to my neurologist when I saw her last week, just to be sure she took a peek.  She suspects the scoliosis is contributing to some of the pain/tension in my neck that goes along with my migraines.  Again, were mostly just keeping an eye on it - if I start having really severe pain or other issues suggesting more impingement of nerves or something we'll take another look.  Fine with me.

I saw my rheumatologist today and also mentioned the x-ray to him.  I love my rheumatologist - he's crotchety and snarky, but not with his patients, just in general.  He looks at it muttering about "let's see what the radiologist said, not that I care what they said, but let's see if they actually caught anything they should have..."
Turns out some of the facet joints in my lumbar vertebrae are rubbing against each other because of the scoliosis.  And my sacroilliac is tilted a bit weird so on one side it's not quite lined up properly with the sacrum and on the other side, it's rubbing up against the sacrum.  Fun.  So, that's something to keep an eye on, as there is some degeneration of the osteoarthritis kind from the bone rubbing on bone.

My scoliosis is a bit more pronounced than I had realized too as I'd never gotten a really good look at my x-rays.  There's not only a curve around L2/L3, but it twists a bit as well.  All that tugging and junk on my muscles is of course going to give me back pain and muscle spasms.
That, of course, led me to ask if the muscle spasms could partially explain my involuntary movements.  My rheumy thinks it's a possibility.  Shame no one thought to look into my reports of back pain and history of scoliosis 2 years ago. 

For the time being, I'm to keep up with my PT to keep my muscles strong, use moist heat on the back, and that's mostly it.  Which is fine.  I'm just glad there isn't any sign of inflammation or inflammatory arthritis through that area.

He also noticed that my hands and fingers are getting pretty puffy.  I've been having more hand pain lately.  So that's to be kept an eye on too.  We're checking my ANA and thyroid stuff again to be sure my thyroid levels are still behaving after that weird fluctuation in October.  And I go back in February to see how the arthritis-y stuff is doing in depths of winter.  I've had a sore throat non-stop since October and the itchy rash of doom on/above my elbows, so maybe the blood work will show why.


I've been having good fun playing with the interactive spinal anatomy things on the University of Toronto website and making Tom help me figure out what parts we talked about.  It is super geeky fun.  I do worry a bit that I'm preoccupied with medical stuff, but I tend to look stuff up and read more out of curiosity and a "whoa, why/how does that happen?" than because I think I'll find *the answer* to my health issues. 

I also had a psych follow-up today.  It went well, as usual.  We're upping my med doses hoping to prevent migraines and to hopefully prevent a repeat of my mini-breakdown with suicidal ideation a few weeks ago.  That would be nice.  I'm hoping it will help my memory too, which has gone to total crap lately.  I recently started the sequel to a book I read in October and have been pretty lost.  Derp.  They've also said they totally support my application for disability and will help however they can.  It's really, really great to get that support and not feel as though I'm lazy or a leech or something.

In other news, I got my rejection from Social Security before I even finished my initial application.  According to them, I don't have enough credits.  I've gotten in touch with a lawyer.  There is some inexplicable weirdness for 2 years where it appears my employer failed to deduct or pay Social Security.  The loss of those 2 years means I don't have enough credits for SSDI.  I started the correction process in early November, but it apparently hasn't gone through all the way.  Anyway, the lawyer is looking into it.  I'm really, really hoping  the stupid mistake doesn't cost me my SSDI benefits.  The lawyer thinks I have a pretty good case otherwise, between my list of diagnoses, my functional symptoms, etc.  And as he told me - even if someone wants to say your symptoms are "in your head" it doesn't make them less real or lessen their impact on your life and ability to maintain gainful employment.  And my little part-time job shouldn't create a problem as my earnings are well under the allowed amount per month. 
I'm really hoping the earnings record crap can be resolved easily.  All the paperwork and figuring things out and blah wears me out a lot.  A *whole* lot.

Steampunk Star Trek

I should be getting ready for work and/or folding laundry.

Original image from here.

Text is all mine, baby.

Limits and How They Suck

PoppySeed the Pomeranian, despite being a wonderful, cuddly, delightful little ball of fluff did not work out for his trial.
Unfortunately, I had over-estimated my ability to cope with a younger dog - he's about a year old, plus a jealous Oreo.
So, I'm upset in two ways - one because PoppySeed was a love and I really, really wish we could have kept him.  And two, because I've just had a fairly harsh reminder of where my limits are and that they are closer than I thought.
This follows on the heels of a mini-breakdown the last week of November when I had to call off from work and spend a few days in bed because I was physically and mentally exhausted to the point of collapse and slight mental health crisis. 
It used to be that I could work around my crashes.  I knew they were inevitable, but through the last years of college and through most of grad school I could push past the collapse point so long as I could crash at the end of a few days or a week.  I didn't even really realize then that that isn't exactly normal.
I no longer get to work around or stave off the crash or flare or whatever the hell you call it when it feels like I have the flu, can barely move (except for involuntary movements), need to sleep or stay lying down, and burst into tears with a side of ramped up anxiety and suicidal ideation.  It just hits.  If I'm lucky I notice the warning signs and am able to do self-care.  If not, I feel worse for longer.
I am at least grateful that I can take steps to mitigate the crash if I can just rest for a week (sometimes more).  And I'm even more grateful that most of the people around me have come to understand and accept that and don't seem to think it makes me lazy or worthless.

Anyway, I'll miss the adorable little fluffy monster, PoppySeed.  I know he'll find a happy forever-home.  For now, it will just be Oreo and me around the house during the day.

Oreo's No Good, Very Bad, Awful Day

Today we started a few day trial with a possible new member of the family - Poppy Seed, a year old Pomeranian boy.

Oreo is less than thrilled.

The trouble began when Poppy's current people brought out a squirt bottle, which they've been using as a way to signal and change bad behavior. We tried it on Oreo.

It's like an off switch on barking. I knew it worked with cats. No idea it works with some dogs.

Have I mentioned that Oreo hates water?

Anyway, that was almost tolerable because there were new people visiting, even if they did bring this small, fluffy, dog-like creature. New people are awesome, especially new people who like dogs. Plus, dog creature had toys. And most of them squeak!

But then the people left. And forgot their fluffy...thingie.

Fortunately, it was sleepy and crawled in its portable den to nap.

But then it came out. And got on the couch.

There was snuggling.  Though Tom claims he's not sure he wants a doggie who sits on his lap all the time.  Or a doggie of any kind.  Including Oreo.  The rest of us mostly ignore that.

 Nope, they're not getting along at all.
















There have been a few almost tiffs.  Almost.  A little while ago Poppy felt confident enough to pounce and play-growl at Oreo.  Who barked and growled back half-playfully and half-seriously. 
While he's been getting lots of loves and reassurance that he's the Alpha dog, Oreo has also been doing some heavy snuggling with both of us, presumably as a reminder that he prefers being an only child.  He's on my lap now, radiating cute vulnerability. 

Tomorrow will be the first full day and Tom will be at work.  I've been feeling fairly crappy lately, but the silver lining there is that I can see if I can manage 2 dogs even when I feel dreadful.  I'm sincerely hoping most of tomorrow involves snuggling and reading interspersed with quick, short walks in the snow.  (One at a time - no way can I manage two little bouncers and my cane in the ice and snow and as part of the crappy feeling lately has been some light-headedness, I need the cane more than ever.)

Poppy is adorable - 8 lbs of black and white fluff.  And likely to be a snuggler, at least with Tom.  We'll see how we all manage tonight.  Still not sure how the sleeping arrangements will go.  Oreo is always on the bed.  Poppy is getting over Giardia and still readjusting to house-breaking after a stint at Animal Control, so we're not sure where to put him.  Though he's done marvelously today with going out and letting us know he needed walkies. 

The Joys of Bureacracy and Confusion

So after agonizing over it and talking about it and thinking about it and, and, and...  I've finally started the application process for Social Security Disability (hereafter SSDI). 
Some of you may be wondering why the hell I've done this now as I got a job in August.  While the job is nice, it is also exhausting to me.  I cannot work it full time.  I can't even work two days in a row without serious repercussions like needing to spend most of the next day or two in bed.  And this is not a difficult job.  At all.  My mental health has taken a distinct turn for the worse (not to crisis levels yet, but treading uncomfortably close) and I think it not unreasonable to suppose that some of it is because I can't quite cope with the "stress" of working.  While I can, and possibly will, adjust meds to see if there's an improvement, I have noticed that the weeks when I'm not scheduled so frequently I seem  to be less inclined to anxiety/depression crap.

Thus, I've had another wake-up call in terms of my limits.  I am not, by the Social Security Administration's guidelines "gainfully employed."  I'm not sure how much longer I can remain even sub-gainfully employed.  I've already had to ask to be excused filling-in for certain shifts because they are seriously detrimental to my health.  Anyway, I hope to keep working at least a shift or two a week for as long as possible.  But I also recognize that I don't know how long that will be. And as I've said before, I have to plan based on how I feel *now* not how I *might* feel in the future.  The way I feel now is that working just 16 hours a week at a sedentary, uncomplicated, quiet job is nearly overwhelming.  Ideally, in the future, I might be able to take advantage of the Ticket to Work program or successfully work from home in some way, or be healthy enough to work a 40 hour week.  Or hit the lottery.  Or something.  But now, not so much.

The initial step in the process was calling up Social Security and trying to fix my income statements for a few years when, for some reason, they have me as having received no income.  While I was never making a hell of a lot of money (because I had been in school full-time between the ages of 5 and 27), I *was* making some.  And paying taxes on it.  Dammit.  Anyway, they were very nice and helpful and hopefully that's fixed.

SSDI is in part based on work credits.  For every x amount of $ you make you get a credit.  I cannot, despite valiant effort, figure out if I have enough credits.  Some calculators say yes, others say no, there are weird exceptions to the rules based on age.  Buhhh.  Also, I resent the term "work credits" - I was "working" my ass off, I just wasn't getting paid for a lot of it.

So, I started my application.  Teh confused.  I haz it.  I think that may be the first test of disability.  If you are capable of filling everything out on your own correctly you clearly are not disabled.  So, I've let it sit for the past few days and started looking for assistance. 

The first agency (Allsup) would not take my case because I'm working, even though it's usually under 20 hours per week and my monthly income is well under the SSA cut-off.  If I quit my job they would review my case.  So, hell with that.

An old friend who happens to be a lawyer saw me moaning about the above on Twitter or Facebook or somewhere and sent me some helpful links.  So, I've been researching law firms.  I already have one scheduled to call me (tomorrow, hopefully) to discuss details, etc.
Here's the things I plan to ask about.  If anyone has helpful suggestions, they'll be well appreciated.

• Fees - by law they're supposed to only be able to claim a certain % of the back-pay or a set $ amount and only if they win.  No win, no money.  I want to be sure they know this or else I will run away.
• What about the work credit situation?
• Should I continue the application I started on-line?  If so, precisely what information should I include and how?
• How much and what am I expected to do?
• What is their success rate?
• If they won't take my case can they refer me to someone who might be able to?
• If they won't take my case is it because they know it won't succeed or is it just because it will be too challenging?

Tiny Egyptian Hippo God by MossMountain on Etsy

Tiny Egyptian Hippo God by MossMountain on Etsy


Squeeeeeeeeeeeee. I may die of the cute! Go look at it!

The 12 Days of Ice Age Christmas

Snowmass tally: 10 mastodons, 4 mammoths, one "once-in-a-lifetime" find - The Denver Post

Pretty nifty find. The list of animals has me thinking someone should get cracking on some song lyrics.

Some earlier articles about the initial find by the guys digging the reservoir indicate that at least one of the mammoths was buried in peat which would account for the preservation (rather than fossilization) of bone and hopefully some soft tissue.

Widespread Panic fans will be interested to learn that Snowmass Village at least considered making "Big Wooly Mammoth" the official village song.